Endorphine Junkies

Refresh and Refocus!

2009-10-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, not much changed this week! Stats are the same as last, I am ready to refresh and refocus~

A few of my friends and blog followers have requested I give out my diet. Unfortunatly, its not quite that simple. I can tell you exactly what I eat but it won't work the same for you because I have designed my diet specifically for my needs based on my body and goals, everyone is different! Is what I WILL do though is share my resources and recipes with you!

Tosca Reno The Eat Clean Diet, a great read! Iron Dolls by Karen Sessions is an ebook but I found it to be very helpful.

Here is my favorite pre cardio +weight workout meal. I eat it in the morning about an hour before I hit the gym for 45 min of weights followed by some type of pretty intense cardio> It has more carbs than most of my meals and it is inspired by one of Tosca Reno's many smoothies

Good Morning Smoothie:
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
2/3C skim milk
1/4 C dry oats
1 C any combination of 2 frozen fresh fruits. My fav is strawberries and bananas
Sprinkle of groud flax
1Tbs any nut butter( Raw Almond Butter is my fav)
A sprinkle of water to help it blend together

BLEND

These are approx nutritional values

250 calories
55 cho
3 fat g
8g protein
28g sugars

Its Thursday ALREADY???

2009-10-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, so this week is almost a BUST! SUCKS but here is the deal... I cannot believe it is already Thursday! Monday, I kept Avery home cause she was sick, I did manage to get in a good chest workout with Tommy and Big Dave, BUT I did NOT teach my Zumba class so I could keep my sniffley child out of the nursery thus no cardio for me on Monday! BOO! I love cardio!!!Tuesday morning, I managed to run 3.25 miles with my awesome running buddy Sarah, we got splashed and sprayed by every passing vehicle on the highway INCLUDING a smelly dump truck..we were STINKY after that! Oh well, good stories! THen I went to support my brand new Zumba Instructor teaching her FIRST Zumba class (you totally rocked it Kristy) and then while I planned on working a muscle group afterwards, was needed to fill in for another instructors sculpt class...So my Bi's and Back workout was toast BUT I did hit them pretty good in sculpt class, along with everything else though, YESTERDAY was Wed, I took Brandon's "Insanity" Class that was basically cardio drills and yes..B, it kicked my butt , then hit the elliptical for 20 min looking for that slow calorie burn. TODAY?? ITS THURSDAY! My plans were to get up early and hit triceps and biceps and some Abs in the mix but I overslept, THEN I was called into teach water aerobics... so here it is, 130pm, ON THURSDAY and I feel like I have piddled away the whole freakin' week! I have NO motivation to work out, plus, I am about to pick up my munchkin so really, if I were going to work out today ,it would need to be happening NOW! Oh well. Im taking today off, tomorrow I am planning on a total body workout with circuits and then Ill also teach Z for my cardio, and Saturday??? Cardio and maybe a push workout. Sunday? Off. Monday? We will start again hopefully with more of a consistent schedule!!!

This is just life you know? You can NEVER completely plan for a workout schedule without expecting to improvise when necessary! Time and time again, I have scheduled the perfect workout week, or diet even down to the very last bicep curl, or oz of protein and inevitably , something will have to change. I may not be able to stomach ONE MORE EGG WHITE and have to adjust that meal, or like I just showed by my week above. I had a perfect week scheduled where I was going hit all muscle groups and then, I was faced with some uncontrollable scheduling issues that forced me to change my plan. Over all, I did pretty good, I give myself a A, how ever the real test here is that I didn't give up. This is a good example for what ever your fitness goals are. You have to be able to adapt to the inconsistencies of live! You may need a break in the middle of your week because your plan was too ambitious for your body to take on..If you don't listen to your body, make changes to you schedule to accommodate work, family or friends. You will never make it! YOu will get injured, loose focus, or burn out. This is a lifestyle change, lifestyles must adapt to not only our own wants or needs, but they have to be flexible and compatible with others. If you do not plan on these schedule conflicts then you will be in for disappointment, and setting yourself up for failure! Don't give up on the big picture just because you ran out of a little blue paint, if you just improvise a little, when you are finished, you won't even notice the small area of sky where you had to blend colors together, and improvise, to make it the right color blue!

Don't lie, you are impressed with my analogy! ;-)LOL

Stats again on Sunday~ K

Clean Diet = Clear Skin?? And much more!

2009-10-13T14:21:00.000-07:00

It's true... I have always had trouble with acne!!!!I once said to a fellow group fitness instructor " It is totally unfair that I am plucking stray gray hairs out of my head AND covering up Zits!" UGGGG!!! It has been very gradual but my skin is finally clearing up! It just goes to show that diet really does effect EVERYTHING!!! Skin, teeth, nails, organs you name it!

Now that I really think about it...it is truly amazing how much our body's adapt to crappy lifestyles!! You know? It tries to tell you that it needs something different by showing up as acne, dry hair, dry skin, stomach bulging, thunder thighs , love handles, etc.. I mean think about it this way.. say you give your car crappy oil, or gas... it will run like CRAP! You will notice that at first but we soon adapt to the bumping and grinding and other annoying side effects of poor fuel, and it begins to seem normal to us, even though it is clearly SCREAMING for better quality fuel! More trips to the service station is a pain not to mention expensive, but you feel like you are getting a deal at the cheaper, more convenient, gas/oil station..

Think of your body like a bunch of little machines...BILLIONS to be more specific with millions of networks telling each cell or "machine" what to do and when! We have to fill it with the proper fuel so it can complete these complicated tasks with in our body's. These tasks include, making our heart beat, pumping blood nutrients to our organs, taking the trash out, and much more.. if we feed our bodies crap, our body STILL gets the job done to the best of its ability even if it has to pull nutrients from stored locations and our own tissue, its even smart enough to store nutrients away when you consistently deprive it of what it needs so it can tap into it later if necessary! The problem here is when we start building more trash than our body can take out, it starts building up... in our veins, artery's, colan and liver causing all sorts of sicknesses that we put on our selves caused by one specific reason.... we don't feed our bodies properly.

We begin to feed our body's crap for many reason's but the #1 reason?... it's "convenient" , Here is the thing... we are looking at LAZY, unhealthy, and uneducated (on the issue), NATION here! 2/3 Americans are overweight! 2/3 Americans are overweight! 2/3 Americans are overweight! Wake up! It seems to me that some of the other issues we spend so much time worrying about PALE in comparison! This percentage is based on stats from 2006! It's higher now AND to make it even worse, we are passing it down to our children..All because we, educated or not, upper class, middle class, and lower class, are too LAZY to change, too LAZY to learn, too LAZY to be good to that body of ours that is working tirelessly to keep you alive! All of this because fast food and processed food is more convenient!! That is messed up!

Don't get me wrong...You do not have to shop at whole foods for your all food, spend a ridicules amount of money, you don't even have to give up all of your convinces! Just be aware, learn about basic nutrition, read labels, if you can't, catch it, or pick it, or peel it..think twice before you eat it!

So, not only will clean eating clear your skin, but now, as I think I have shown above, it can quite possibly... give you a much better quality of life, or even save your life!

I'm signing off of my soap box for now, I will follow up with a recipe..Good Morning Smoothie... Yummo! Thanks for reading!! ~K

Stat Time!

2009-10-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

Wt: 115..Holding Strong
BF% Using the Omron Bioimpendence method...20% Down like... .2 pts! LOL!

I am still seeing changes...so I feel good about it~ Not as frustrated this week..REady for my cheat day! Ill keep you informed!

So many BF% meathods

2009-10-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

I have been frustrated because of my bodyfat % not budging from 20%. I had a trainer that works for us at the Y do a skin fold on me, just to see the difference from that and the omeron bf hand held analyzer( that is the method I have been using) and it came out 15.6 %, then I had another trainer do it on the same system, same sites, and viola! 17.8%...This goes to show that unless you have a bodpod, or a underwater system to analysize you BF% it is all a rough estimate and the important thing is to use the SAME method each time to see your gains and losses... that also means using the SAME TRAINER if you are using skinfold method!

This week is going well, I am feeling good, had a great chest workout with my buddy Tommy, and hit Bi's and Tris on Tuesday, yesterday i did a cardio class, and today I am hitting shoulders. I am planning on getting legs in on Friday, and working back on saturday( I hate working back) So I usually save it for last!LOL!

Bottom line, I continue to see results on my body! I am learning more and more that "abs are made in the kitchen"

Stats/10/04/09

2009-10-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

Wt: 115
BF%: 20.2%

Well, what can I say? I'm about ready to through the scale out the window along with my body fat analysis! I didn't want to loose weight really in the beginning, I wanted to build muscle but for some reason, that number NOT BUDGING bothers me....

I am seeing muscle gains in the mirror, and my clothes are fitting differently in a good way! I shouldn't worry about those #'s BUT I am human and I do, at least I would like to see my BF% go down. I am 3weeks in and my body is definitely changing so that is good! Consistency is key here, I am NOT giving up by any means!! I am going to start running again in 3 weeks but until then, I am going to continue to build build build!!

The diet is getting easier! That is nice! Last week I was dreaming about chocolate and biscuits and bad food that I didn't overindulge in before this endeavor, I was looking forward to my cheat day so much that I couldn't even stand it~ This week, I am much more adjusted to the diet and I have not had the dreams or as many cravings, I am mainly glad to have a day where I don't have to constantly think about what and how much to eat!

Oh, and BTW, I added a few more carbs in the mornings with my oatmeal like fruit, and it has made a WORLD of difference! I am feeling much better!

I am off to enjoy my day off, it was tempting to go for a jog this morning with Hillman but I am staying on the plan, that includes a LIMITED amount of cardio and rest on my rest days, and rest does NOT include a morning jog! LOL!!

Until next time, keep checking! ~K

A small step back

2009-09-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

Well, this week is not starting out so hot..Avery has been keeping us awake this week so it threw the beginning of week off. The diet was fine until today. I changed it this week to no carbs my last two meals and oatmeal an hour before my workout and today, I really learned that this may need a change. I just didn't have the energy this morning in my step class. My glycogen stores were totally depleted to the point tha my legs felt like led in class and I was getting dizzy spells, I struggled through that and I couldn't even TALK to my husband when I got home! I felt terrible and I was not in any mood to talk or smile! LOL! I ate a half of a power bar and some fruit and I was back to semi normal, then... my head was still sort of fuzzy and I backed the car into the Jeep that I had parked earlier! I am not blaming that serious brain fart totally on the lack of carbs in my body but I was definitly suffering from some serious glycogen depletion or better known in my household as "bonking" I went to starbucks and got a skinny vanilla latte and that brought me back up to speed.

SO, I still ate clean, however, not every three hours as usual and I ate a few more carbs than i have been! I feel a million times better now! I will not eat again tonight, but tomorrow I plan to get back on my schedule. I think I will try to add some fruit in with my oatmeal before my cardio and see if that helps. I told you I would be changing things as I see fit.... I refuse to stick to anything that makes me feel that badly! I want to be healthy, that is the whole point of this right?? I am not doing something right if I am left feeling that badly! More to come....

ho hum..stat day

2009-09-27T05:45:00.001-07:00

I cannot lie, I am a little disappointed! I have been working sooo hard with my diet and in the weight room and being as diligent as I can about cutting down on my cardio and my results for two weeks are not as good as I had hoped for. I see changes! I really do though, the scale and bodyfat analysis is not yet reflecting yet though...;-(

Stats:
Wt: 114 (thats good actually, I lost almost a lb of fat, I was up on Wed, it could be water too)
BF: 20.4%

BF is actually a little higher but it basically hasn't changed.

I am noticing small changes in my body, for one, my abs are getting more defined, side view shown in the first and second pic.

Two, my muscles are getting bigger! Here is a pic of my biceps, I just woke up too, they look even bigger when Im actually working them! LOL!
Anyway, I am so ready for my "cheat day" I have some banana nut muffins in the oven as I speak, I am planning on having baked Ziti for lunch and some dessert too! Come Monday, back to it! I will now cut carbs out of my last meal completly. This should make my mood interesting for my morning workouts! LOL!

ALSO, this helped me, I just read this in the "Iron Dolls" ebook I am reading! This is a really good book. Thanks for reading, Ill update more through the week! ~K

"The first week or two you may lose weight, or you may gain some water weight. It all depends onyour body type, and what you were doing diet-wise before you came to be. Complex carbs hold three times the amount of water protein and fat do. Remember, any added weight the first week or two is just water and it will subside. It’s just your body reacting to the carbs. Once your body establishes that you are feeding it carbs, it will balance out and then we will start manipulating the diet for continual results.The first week or two you may or may not notice the scale change, but the mirror and how clothes fit may prove results. This is a good sign. Keep that in mind and don’t to get hung up too much on numbers just yet. They are a useful too, but so are the mirror and clothes" Karen Sessions

Goals

2009-09-25T10:02:00.001-07:00

This week, I have been really trying to focus on finding what my goals are in this new bodybuilding plan. I am the worlds worst at deciding to do something full force but not sticking to it. As I have grown, I realize the reason I do this is because I start things with out defining my ultimate goal. Defining is the key word there. I will make plans like I want to run, or i think Ill try a half marathon, but not have a real plan in place. I will start off ready to go, but then, about two weeks in, I will fall off of my plan. I think a lot of people are like this. I learned this through out my training for the half marathon. I learned that if I wanted to complete a long term goal, I must keep reminding myself of that ultimate goal but also have "sub goals" as I call it, AND have a tangible reason for doing it. SO...I said at the beginning , I will shift my training to bodybuilding, I will follow a strict diet and achieve the goal of building muscle mass but now it is time to get deeper.

First question: Why?
This is a hard question for me but I have forced myself to narrow down the why's. This is the number one question I have to answer on a daily basis. When I can't have that glass of wine at a function in the middle of the week, or go to dinner and can't eat whats on their menu, why get up and work out when I am clearly tired or sore, why do I want to do this, put my body through this, the list of why's go on and on. There are 2 main reasons for me to do this.
#1: I want to be proud of my body, simply put. I have always been dissatisfied with my body, over recent years, I have found love for exercise, it has helped me keep my body in a more fit form which I have been happy with, I want to take it further. Being fit has given me freedom from having to constantly be insecure about how my body looked. I want to show others that they can do it too. Which brings me to my next reason.
#2. As a trainer and fitness instructor, so many people tell me how frustrated they are because they are killing themselves in the gym 7 days a week, 2x a day but seeing minimal results. My first question is...what's your diet like? The next response is usually filled with loaded excuses( i had a baby, i don't have time to eat healthy, my kids won't eat anything but junk), lies (they will tell me that they eat perfect), or my favorite " I eat 1000 calories or less a day". My response some of you reading this will be able to attest to this, its 80% diet 10% workout, they look at me in disbelief and continue on with their excessive gym habits, and continue to eat as they were and continue to be discouraged with their weight and eventually, they stop working out all together. I will run into them later and they will say " I just got burnt out on the gym, I was tired of working so hard without seeing results! Here is the thing! I KNOW BECAUSE I USED TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So..I want to prove that YES! Diet is 80%!!! I am not trying to send the message that you have to eat a body building diet to look good, or see positive changes but, this will hopefully be real proof for you guys who don't believe that diet is important! Not only diet, but rest and recovery! SO. For now, NO I am not doing this for a competition(the #2 most asked question), however I would not rule it out for a future goal.

My sub goals are goals that I try to meet daily, or weekly, like. Monday, i will work chest and shoulders at X time....blah blah

My weekly goal is to stick with my diet plan to get to my one cheat day!

Thanks for reading you guys! I will put up my stats again on Sunday morning before I begin my cheat day! I am so looking forward that!

~K

Encouraged today

2009-09-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

WOW! So I know this sounds CRAZY, my stats have not changed but I was working out today and I saw some new things happening to my body already! Only I would notice, its not like people can look at me and see these slight changes but is all I know, is I have been consistent with my diet and workout plan for less than 2 weeks and I am already seeing more muscle definition!!! Especially in my shoulders and legs. This is so encouraging! I woke up this morning and had to face 7 egg whites, with a cup of whole oatmeal... I was like, uhhh! This is not looking very appealing to me, I barely got through it, then when I saw changes this morning it renewed my dedication, if I am already seeing changes, maybe I will really see a lot in the weeks to come! Wish me luck! I'm still truckin along on this plan!

Oh, and, I am going to get a massage tonight from my friend/massage therapist tonight! WHOOT!

One whole week..

2009-09-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

Well, one whole week has gone by since I have started my new fitness goal. Not too many physical changes yet. I do feel GREAT though! Here are my stats as of yesterday before I started my cheat day: Wt: 115(back up)
BF% 20% ( it is slightly higher but expected this and I am not worried yet)

It is truly amazing that when you start feeding your body correctly it doesn't crave junk food! I used to always have to have something sweet after a meal! After the first day of this... that urge is GONE! Totally!!! Instead of craving chips, sweets, and junk, I crave veggies, salads, sweet potato's etc... amazing! NO JOKE!

I have had a slight set back, pulled a muscle in my trapizious in my back, spasms and all! OUCH! I woke up Saturday morning at 2am in HORRIBLE pain! Couldn't look down at all and to make matters worse... I had to teach a group fitness class that morning at 10am. I also didn't get to hit legs too hard which I had planned to do, but I am taking today off completely and I am already feeling better!

I will say, I was glad to have that cheat day! I needed a break from all of the conscious eating. I went out to dinner with my friend and my brother and just let loose for a while! AHHH! NICE!

Goals for the week...
STAY CONSISTENT ON THIS PLAN!!!

ALSO, I have been reading a great book called "Iron Dolls" it is really good, it is an ebook and if you are interested in body building, it is a great, simplistic, yet COMPLETE look at how to be successful! I am learning alot~

Ill will keep you posted! ~K

First few days...

2009-09-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is where I am starting:
wt: 115.4lbs
body fat % 19%'

I have to say it is hard to get used to eating 6 meals a day! Planning alone is time consuming not to mention cooking the food! I am eating a very strict and clean diet! Allowing one cheat day where I can eat anything I want, that way Ill be able to stick to my strict diet through out the week and this should also keep my metabolism guessing and will hopefully keep the metabolic fire burning! I know some of you who have experience have different opinions on how I should be doing this but I am basing this off of research and my college education... I think the numbers should work! I am taking in around 2000 calories a day, 30% fats and proteins, and 40% complex carbs. I am also adding in chicken and turkey which I wasn't eating before, I am not saying you can't bodybuild with out meat, but for me, its easier just to put it back into my diet...protein protein protein!

Day 2: I am feeling very full and bloated! The protein shakes that I am taking in after exercise are discusting! I am going to have to find a different type if I am going to keep this up! The water I am consuming is making me have to pee every 5 seconds! I only made it through 2 liters of water today and yesterday. Hopefully my body will adjust soon!! I had to stay up until 10 last night to get in my last meal of the day which was a discusting protein shake with no Carbs that I had to chase with water! GROSS!!

Day 3 : I got on the scale this morning because I feel like I am gaining fat around my mid section! YUK! I was suprised to see that I am down 2 lbs...must be because I am not retaining water anymore since my body has an abundance of it...I expected to gain, Ill hop back on the scales on Sunday and let you know what I weigh.

Day 4: I am loving my breakfast of 1/2 cup of oatmeal and 1tps of natural peanut butter mixed in. At first I thought it was nasty, now I am looking forward to it! It is amazing how my cravings for sweets and chips and junk has dissappeared! My body is liking the food that I am giving it~ I feel totally satisfied after my meals! I will say that my grocery bill is much higher! AND I went to GNC to get some new protein shakes and supplements and dropped $100! I must say thought that the protein shake tastes a million times better! If you are going to drink protein shakes on a regular basis. I do suggest you go ahead and spend a little more on it!

Day:5 I AM SOOOO SORE! the new supplements are making me feel like crap! Ill give my body another day to adjust but uhhh for now! Hillman thinks it doesn't have anything to do with the supplements but that I am running low on my glycogen stores. I had a tough time keeping my energy up in my step class yesterday... that could be it, my body will have to adjust to me not eating so many "fast carbs" We will see.... I am thinking clearly so my stores aren't too low. I am still taking in carbs, just not the same kind.

More to come....

New Finess Goals!

2009-09-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

As of Sunday, September 13th, I decided it's time to change up my fitness goals. I have been running and training for long distances now for a while and while I still LOVE running and do not intend to give up 5k races and the occasional 10 k race, I am going to shift my training goals to bodybuilding. I used to lift weights regularly and loved the way my body looked. I have been so focused on running that I have not been able to do anything else, thus, losing most of the muscle I put on in years past. So I decided that I would totally change it up and focus on bodybuilding! I am following a "bodybuilding" type diet that gives me quite a few calories per day, (around 2,000)and training muscle groups as a bodybuilder, not as a person who wants to maintain, but BUILD muscles. I am measuring out how many carbohydrates I need, Protein, and fats that I will need to build lean muscle mass/ Eating 6 small meals a day and drinking 3 liters of water per day! I am also going to track weight loss and gains with you. I have never tried this before so I may get it wrong first but I will bring you along on my journey! Here we go, a new adventure! Who knows what will come out of this! ~K

How about a lyrical quote today?

2009-05-05T13:51:00.000-07:00

"I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'd be sayin' is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue"~Jason Mraz

Avery and her "Pop"

2009-05-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

Are these sweet or what??

Spirited Personality!

2009-04-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

Avery is certainly showing her quick tempered side these days! The last few days have been rough so, after seeing her interact with others in the nursery in a poor mannor, she usually loves being around her friends in the nursery, I decided to take her to to the pediatrician to get her checked out. The way I see it is, if she is just needing tough love then I can give her that,but I want to be sure she is not in pain, or sick..I also am struggling with how to discipline her at such a young age. She is clearly needing boundaries from us but she doesn't respond to many things I have tried. The only thing that works is ignoring her...The pediatrician was great, I love the group that she sees, we spoke at length about these concerns and he reassured me that I am doing the right things. Turns out, she did have a double ear infection and a big glob of wax creating pressure in her ear canal! WHEW. Here is some video of her dramatic self...these are quite mild but you can get the idea! Enjoy!! ;-)

Country Music Half Marathon

2009-04-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

(<--- Im the one in the red hat)

Hello all! I haven't taken a minute to write in a long time but here we go again! I wanted to share my experience in the last half marathon I ran. It was a local one, The Country Music Marathon an Half Marathon. It is the second half marathon for me this year, I did the Tom King Half Marathon back in March. I was very pleased with my performance finishing with a personal record of 2 hours and 2 minutes. The CMM is a wonderful course. I thought showcased the best parts of Nashville. Starting at Centennial Park it takes you down Broadway, then back up Demonbruen through the Belmont area then back down Music Row and even wraping around Bicentennial Mall ending at the Titans Collisium, the marathon splits off around 11 miles and goes through metro center and down to Shelby Bottoms park ending up in the same location as the half. 32,000 runners this year topped every other year. This is the first race that I ran with this many people involved and boy, was it a scene! Here is my experience.

At the starting line, 30 some odd corrals contained thousands of runners based on what time they purposed to finish. Fastest in first corrals and slower runners and walkers last corrals. I was assigned to corral 4. After a long morning of preparation, meeting up with friends, car-pooling, shuttling over to the park we were set to go all before the wee hour of 6am. Port a pottie lines were outrageous , thousands of port a potties lined up filling the park with blue and white stalls and in front of them thousands of anxious runners waiting in line for that last chance to empty there blatters or what not! Me? I got lucky, on the shuttle, we snuck into the bathroom and held on to the rails for dear life while emptying our blatters as the driver seemed to take those turns at the most extreme measures! We get off the buss at exactly 605am and are amazed at all the people! WOW~ people running around warming up, waiting in line for the porta pottie, the speaker announces "race numbers such and such - such and such should have already dropped there bag at the UPS trucks and be on there way to their corral! Shoot! Thats me! I strip off my shirt (I didn't mention that we had record breaking highs today), down to my sports bra and throw it in my bag. Hugged all my friends and wish them good luck and off I went, to the baggage drop off...scarfing down half a cliff bar on while frantically sorting out what I need and don't need, and I realized, "damn, I have to pee again"! I spot a bathroom that the line dosent look too intimidating so i get in it, 25 minutes later I emerge from the bathroom at 6:56,4 minutes till corral 1 is starting! I book over to my corral and its closed, no biggie, just got in the 5the corral instead. This is when I realized that this may be a lonely race despite the thousands of people running along side of me, and the thousands of spectators cheering us on. I didn't count on that happening! As we inch up elbow to elbow, I cannot see a thing in front of me besides other people's back. "On your mark, get set POW!" We are off! The sound of watches starting , shoes pounding on the assphalt, and heavy, anxious breathing was a sure sign we were on our way! A flair of excitement traveled up from my stomach to my chest, I took in a deep breath and sighed, this is what I love about racing..

The road sloped down hill and I could see all the way down Broadway, the whole road full of runners, I glanced behind me and saw much of the same, runners, gliding down the hill, I smiled as I started my ipod up to hear the sound of Cold play drifting into my ear, "Life In Technicolor", life is good right now.

We make a right turn on forth, everyone is having fun around me, spectators are hooting and hollering for us, families are out to support there loved ones, children, friends, spouses. Life starts to feel a little less enjoyable as we begin climbing the hills that lead us to Belmont. The sun barreling down upon us and people's shirts are beginning to show perspiration in unique patterns. I push past a few groups of people and am happy about all of those 5am morning hill runs Sarah, Emily and I suffered through in our training runs. I am clicking along at an 8-9 minute pace, hitting my 5k mark on schedule, 27 minutes.

As we head down past Belmont college, I notice a nagging pain in my outer left knee that has given me slight problems in the past. I know I can deal with that pain though so I don't let it get me down. The partiers are out in full force with beer and lots of cheer, even at 730 in the morning, I'm thinking these folks haven't made it to bed yet and this is a continuation of last nights frat party! 5 miles down, almost half way and the leg pain is worse, all of the sudden BAMMM, a girl in front of me decides to stop. As I cut around her my knee felt like it went in 2 different directions. Pain soared up from my leg to my gut as I hopped off of the course to assess the situation. The pain was now pulsating and making me nauseous, sweat dripping in my eyes. I am fighting back the tears and panic, stretching my IT band vigorously trying to work it out , I get back on course limping and in denial. I hit the 10k mark under the desired time frame and am feeling defeated. "I can do this for another hour! I know I can hold it together" I am thinking. I stop at a water stop and stretch and drink. Getting my rythem back is something I never gained. I kept thinking " if i could just make it to 10 miles, I know i can make the last 3 on hope and adrenaline alone!" #8 mile sign up hill up hill and more up hill. It is getting hot and I have reverted to counting my steps to try and keep my mind off of my pain. I look over and an older gentle men cut off the course and grab a police officer's arm as he passed out cold onto the ground beside him. The first of many pass outs and injuries due to the heat I witnessed. I see the medics rushing on there bikes to whisk away the man who desperately needed help. #10 is approaching and I am seriously thinking of abandoning..the only thing that kept me in the race was the fact that my parents were both at the finish line waiting to see me cross it! No way was I letting them down. It just goes to show that no matter how old you are you still need your parents! And it really does make a difference to be there for someone even in such as small way as this is. I unzip my pocket in my shorts where I stored my "GU" packet, there must be a water stop soon....the heat is getting to me now, my leg is hurting and I began to cry, tears streaming down my cheek felt good, cooling my face off, i pulled it together. WATER at mile #11!!Sucked down my gu and stretched, drank a water and poured one down my back..AHHH! Heaven!

11.3 miles is the split of the marathoners and the half marathoners. I am so thankful that I am on the half marathon path, even though you would be amazed at how may marathoners decided to stick to the half and did not make that turn!

As I am heading through to the last mile I find that this is indeed the LONGEST mile of my life! My leg now feels as though there is a knife stuck into the outside of my knee twisting and turning with every step, as I slowly plod through I am noticing a young girl passed out on the sidelines and the medics are trying to determine if they should start chest compressions. I am feeling a heavy feeling in my chest that I have never felt. I am now afraid I am going to have a heart attack! Taking deep breaths I keep telling myself that it is just the heat and pain making me panic, that's all, just keep breathing! 2 more young guys passed out on the side, another girl, getting oxygen, the medics were busy! Here is the turn, tears well up in my eyes again as i and see the # 13 sign and people are yelling and cheering and OH GOD FINALLY! THE FINISH LINE!

My leg went completely numb as the adrenaline took over my body and then I looked over to see my mom and dad, I blew them a kiss and was so relieved it was over! I have never in my life been so glad to be finished with a race!!! As I crossed the finish line all the madness came to a screeching halt as we waited to get our medals. Behind me, a man finishing collapsed, I took a deep breath and thought, to hell with my time and PR's! I finished damn it! I limped to the medic tent where they so graciously wrapped my knee in ice. Later, that evening, i found out that the man I saw collapse behind me at finish line was more than likely the man,26 years old, who died at that moment of a heart complication.

In reflection of this race I have learned much! 1: no more long runs the weekend before a long race, 2:what doesn't kill you really does make you stronger! 3: When running a large race such as this, it is important to keep people you know around you, it is amazing how alone you can feel in a sea of people, 4: don't ever underestimate the power of your presence to others. Just knowing that my parents and husband would be there watching me cross the finish line helped me see this effort through. Also, all of the people cheering us on made a huge difference in so many runners, including myself!

Thanks for reading. More to come. I am going to try a triathlon this summer and another half marathon. Who knows...maybe, just maybe, one day, Ill do a full...Never say never, if you would have asked me 5 years ago if I would ever run a half marathon, I would have HELL NO! LOL! ~K

Avery Video

2009-01-18T19:15:00.000-08:00

Here is a video of her just being her! Enjoy!

Fitness Blog for YOU!

2009-01-13T14:48:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!! I have a seperate blog that you may want to put on your favorites list! It's http://stayfit4lifeblog.wordpress.com This blog has all sorts of fitness related information on it including video, articles, polls, etc...Check it out! I recommend you checking in EVERY DAY! I will add things to it often! Happy Fitness! -K

How Avery stole the show on Christmas day.

2008-12-27T16:27:00.000-08:00

It was a wonderful Christmas day, mild temperature and sunny. We left our home as soon as Avery woke, off to Kaki and Pop's house for a day of Christmas family fun. Hillman and I dropped her off at the grandparents, and went for a wonderful run through Franklin. We never get to run together anymore so this is quite a treat! When we returned, my aunt Mickie, her husband Tim, and Oliver had arrived. We walked into a home filled with family, and the smell of yummy christmas food that made your stomach growl instantly! Avery was a hoot! Running around, getting into everything possible! Feeding the dogs bows,trying to eat a few herself, helping everyone open presents, squeeling in delight as her new toys rattled and oinked, mooed and sang. It was such a wonderful delight! I have always loved Christmas day, I love getting together with my family and sharing a day full of family stories, some new, some we have heard quite a few times yet still pretend that we haven't heard them before. This year, watching my little bug was all I needed, along with the rest of the usual Christmas happenings, she certainly stole the show. Everyone had a renewed since of Christmas cheer this year! It was Avery! She has brought so much joy to our whole family. After really yummy food, we got everything together and headed home to Greenbrier. Avery slept all the way home. What a day! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all! ~H, K and Ave.

1 year ago...

2008-12-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

I was in a hospital room, with my new baby girl, feeling exhausted, terrified and so fortunate, and so amazed all at once. Oh and sore, lets not forget that! ;-)

This year has been such a whirl wind, so much has happened. Avery has changed my life completely and I love it. I have finally found my groove in the "being a mommy" role. It took me some time to find my stride but eventually, I did. I have also found that I my ability to love Avery, my husband, and my family, is greater than I ever thought possible. I have gone through depression, self doubt, sleep deprivation, many many dirty diapers (some of those were meant for the diaper and ended up on me or Hillman), contentment, and back again. Through all of that, I still found the most happiness that I have ever known. My family and friends are my rocks,(and they rock too);-) I couldn't do this thing called life with out them.

Having said all of that, we threw a grand party for Avery's first birthday, it was fun and Avery had a blast it seemed! Thank you all of my family and friends who came out to share this celebration that Avery and Hillman and I made it through 1 whole year of her life, and it was a success, on many levels! Here's to my little bug and many many more birthdays! Love you all! ~Kara, Hillman, and Avery

The Baby Bug

2008-12-03T17:59:00.000-08:00

It's almost been a year since Avery made her grand appearance. The memories of my pregnancy and her delivery are so strong! I cannot believe a year has passed! Why is it that all of the bad parts of the pregnancy and delivery( and there were alot of bad parts!) are mostly reduced in my memory to small inconveniences rather than painful, uncomfortable, unappealing reality that only my rational mind remembers? It reminds me of sad breakups. You know when you get your heart broken, even though the relationship probably sucked, is all you can remember during the "getting over him"phase is all of the good parts. It's is very tricky how our brains work! I think every woman must go through this because if we remembered all of the pain , discomfort and sleep deprivation having a baby causes(not to mention financial strain)we would never have babies again, or get into another relationship for that matter resulting in love, and the whole procreation process. The world as we know it would cease to exist!

I see Avery and she is amazing. The most independent little thing ever! She is walking all over, she knows me and responds to my laughter, anger, and pain by mimicking me, "haha, or OWWWW, or uh ohhhh" if I cry for some reason she looks at me with this concerned face that melts my heart and soul! I never knew that a bond between two people could be so strong. I have a strong bond with my own parents but it is very different on the other side. I am responsible for her completly! When she is hurting, I have to find a way to make it better, it actually hurts me! If she is happy then I feel the most contentment possible. I have had a very hard time with this new mommy role. I feel that I am just now getting the hang of it and feeling comfortable with it. I love being a mommy and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. Having said all of that,if you haven't figured it out, I have had a strong desire for another baby! It's just hormones im sure. Not now, but in a year or so. Hillman and I agreed on one child. I told him of this baby bug I have ( i can't keep anything to myself bless his heart!) and he reminded me of how hard my pregnancy was on me and all of that. At least he didn't shoot it down completely. "I don't want anymore dogs or babies" was a joke...I think! ;-) I think once I get through her birthday and all that I will get over this urge! We shall see. I am sure about one thing, now is not the right time. Just like with Avery,if and when the time is right we will know. -K
PS. Is it too soon to think about baby names?? Just Kidding...Sort of! ;-)

Good bye privacy!

2008-11-30T09:10:00.000-08:00

Now that Avery is mobile, there is no privacy! It really started up when she began walking, I could no longer leave her seated at the television or with a toy while I run to the bathroom for a second. If I do that now, she either follows me or she heads for the stairs! Obviously I encourage her to just follow me! Hillman is also having to adjust, he was in the bathroom this morning and she pushed the door open on him mid-pee! HAHA. She now gets in the shower with me too! She loves the shower, within 2 minutes of the nice warm water falling on her little body she squats down and looks up at me as a yellow stream flows to the drain, I guess she just cannot deny the powerful urge to pee when in the shower! Priceless!

10 month pics

2008-11-15T12:02:00.001-08:00

OWWWW

2008-11-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

Avery's new word. When I get down on the floor with her, she is constantly crawling on me, taking glasses off, grabbing my cheeks pinching my skin, sticking her fingers in my mouth, and a few days ago, I was laying in the floor, playing with her when she grabbed a big chunk of my hair and pulled. OWW AVERY STOP! She plopped down in front of me and I said, while rubbing my scalp to make sure I still had hair there, "that hurts mommy" as if she knows what I am saying, she gives me this look and goes Owwww, owwwww, OWWWW. Then continued to lunge for my hair! haha! It was so funny, now when ever she pulls my hair she says "OWWW". Funny stuff!

PS. Avery has very unselfishly shared her terrible virus with H and I, we are both suffering, pray for us! ;-)

Crazy day at the Pediatritians.

2008-11-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

Avery is sick again bless her little heart and her momma's exhausted body and mind! I called her Dr. 's office this morning and spoke with the nurse who wanted me to bring her in. I followed her advice and had Avery there pronto. Walked in, I get her signed in and turn around to notice a sweet girl who comes to some of my aerobics classes, along with a FULL waiting room of coughing, sneezing and sniffling babies and toddlers. I sit down and begin chatting with the girl, she had a little sweet girl named Miley, 18 months. As soon as I sat down Avery wiggles out of my arms in mid conversation and walks up to Miley and grabs her hand. "Avery, I exclaimed, come back over here!" I apologized and she assured me it was fine. Avery wiggles out of my arms again and begins tearing up the magazines, I am trying to keep the magazines away from her when she YELLS at me at the top of her lungs. Horribly embarrissed, I begin to pick her up when she begins to scream again! Oh my gosh! She has never acted up like this before! She continues to get away from me, at one point trying to bite my friends little girl, I chased her all over the waiting room!! Everybody elses children were so quite, picture perfect, sitting on their mommy's lap looking at ME!! I could almost hear them thinking " she can't control her child" It was HORRIBLE!!! Avery would run away I would fetch her and she would SCREAM!!!

THANK GOD they called her back! WHEW! Unfortunatly, my embarressment was not over though. The nurse asks me to strip her down to her diaper, she wiggled so bad that I was having a terrible time getting her clothes off. Then the Dr. came in, this was not her regular doctor so he didn't know her. Thankfully she let him examine her, with out too much drama but then....ohhhhh.... he diagnosed her with croup. He was trying to talk to me to explain how the medication works, when I should give it to her etc...but every time he tried to talk to me, she would scream so loud that he covered his ears!!! I was HORRIFIED!!! "Ms. Mann, I am goi AAAHHHHHHHH, to try this steroi AHHHHHHHHH give it to her AHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I tried to set her down on the floor an she would scream,pick her up she screamed, it was awful!! I tried to start dressing her to get her mind off of what was going on and she through a FIT and slapped my hands and grabbed my shirt and squeezed it letting out a GROWL of some sort!" Avery, what has gotten into you i said under my breath(as if she know what i am saying) I turned around and told the Dr." she has never acted this way before"! but he left the ticket on the counter and was out of there before I could even thank him! If this is a glimps into toddlerhood...I'm in for it!!!

BTW. She is doing much better! Now I am sick though! A mother's job is never finished!

My sad mood.

2008-11-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

I just feel the need to write about this. I love my friends, those of you who know me know that I will do anything for my friends, until I feel that I have been mistreated, stabbed in the back, what ever. Let me just say that it takes a lot for me to get to this point with someone, I will give them the benefit of the doubt time and time again, but I can only take so much until I turn and walk the other way. I don't suck up to people, I don't chase my friends around like a lost puppy dog, I don't even a lot from my friends but to be loyal. Is that so much to ask? I mean, I am 30 years old and I thought that when I graduated from high school, all of this petty, cliquish, bullshit would end. Boy was I WRONG-O!!! I mean, how can you consider yourself someones best friend one week and move on the next? I understand that friends grow apart, that is not what I am talking about, I am talking about your best friend right now, maybe you have been friends for 30 years, maybe you have only been friends for a months or so, the person in your life who you consider your best friend at the moment, don't take them for granted! It totally sucks! ;-)

Its been a big week at the Mann home!

2008-11-02T15:59:00.000-08:00

Avery took her first steps on October 27th! She is getting better and better every day. Here is some video footage of her from earlier today when her grandparents (my parents) were here to visit! She was really showing out! Enjoy! ~K

Making Strides 2008

2008-10-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

We walked the 5 mile Making Strides Against Breast Cancer again this year. Last year I organized a large group for the Y and I wasn't able to walk it due to my painful hip issue I had the last 2 months of my pregnancy (I was 8 months preggers) sooo, this year I had a group for Stayfit4life and I had Avery with me too! It was fun. Ave fell asleep at mile 2 so she was nice and relaxed! Here are pics! Thank you for all of your support on this cause that I am truly passionate about, finding a cure for breast cancer! ~K

Zumba Craze

2008-10-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

So there is a new fitness craze going on right now called Zumba. If you haven't heard of it, it is a Latin based dance fitness class. Easy enough for any fitness level and will kick your hiney if you are advanced too. I got certified yesterday and I am in LOVE with it! I am not ready to teach it but I am working on it. Can you see me teaching this??

Avery first's on video

2008-10-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

Here is when she learned to clap.

I hate racing when Im racing but I love it when its over!

2008-10-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

Today I jumped back on the horse and raced in the Oktoberfest 5k in Germantown Nashville. The last race ended in tears for me. I was finding that I was becoming more and more frustrated with my time and the more frustrated I became, the worse my race was! The last race was the July 4th Firecracker 5k. It is a huge race but it is always my WORST! The course isn't all that hard, it has a massive hill at the end and even though it starts at 730..It's usually around 90 degrees and humid, adding insult to injury! I felt so horrible at the end I busted into tears at the finish line! I decided at that point that I needed to take a sabbatical from racing 5k's for a while until I could remember why I do them in the first place. FOR FUN!! Soo, today, I went out to Nashville, alone, and raced..alone! I gave it my all. I have this thing, before I started placing in my age group, I would tell myself that it is a successful race if A.) I finish, and B.) I give it all that I have, like if I don't feel like I need to puke at the finish, I didn't give it everything I have. Today..I did, I gave it my all. I really hate racing when I'm doing it, my thoughts running through my head sounding something like this..."oh shit oh SHIT why the hell do I do this to myself, OH SHIT! I can't let that skinny girl pass me!!! (as I'm speeding up to pass her)see ya skinny! Oh crap now I feel like im gonna puke, This sucks !!SUCK IT UP!!!!, oh no, Im not letting a stroller pass me! Is that the finish line????" haha!! " If if just stay at this pace, I can finish in 23 min, thats mile one, mile two, "Ok..well if I stay here, I can finish in 24, I can do this, breath, breath!" Mile 3.5ish "Ok, why the HELL did they put this freaking hill at the end!!!!! " Ok, enough of that, you get the idea!! Pretty funny stuff, when I am finished, it is the best feeling! Ahhh! Im already planning my next race! This one I finished in 25:50, Next one in a 4 miler in 3 weeks, goal is to finish in 32 min. Hello interval training, here I come!! Ill have a puke bucket ready.Huggs! ~K

Lucky...

2008-10-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Avery and I are getting along well! I feel so lucky to be able to be home with her, we work on sounds, hand motions and such all day. She takes her regular naps, and misses her daddy when he has to work. She cries when he leaves in the mornings but we stand at the front door and she waves "ta ta" to him as he drives off. That helps, it is so amazing how even at such a young age, they still know what is going on! She is a blast~ Im enjoying every minute and trying my hardest not to take anything for granted!

2008-09-30T02:36:00.000-07:00

Ha Ha ha. haha, HAAAA! Im full of myself! This is hilarious!! Try it out. www.yearbookyourself.com

Ha Ha Ha!!

Mom Is giving Ave tea!!

2008-09-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

These are crappy cause they are from my phone! LOL!!

Playin around...

2008-09-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

Mammaw Gap

2008-09-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

She's got 8 teeth! AND, guess what! Mammaw is saying "hello" cause she has the Mammaw gap between her front two teeth just like her momma!! LOL!!!

Bed Head

2008-09-26T16:06:00.000-07:00

These are hilarious!!

Pics, videos and such...

2008-09-26T15:59:00.000-07:00

WHEW! Its been awhile!!

2008-09-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while! SO SORRY! OK. Quick update...

***I decided NOT to take the job, time with Avery is too precious, I am focusing on stayfit4life instead.
****I added a new element to Stayfit4life, Blue Fish Active Wear! It is awesome!!! You can't buy it in stores and it makes your boottaayyyy look INSANELY GOOD!!! I'm all for em'!

***Marathon training has taken a back seat. Not intentionally, I just got so burnt out running at 4am to beat the heat! UGGG, the weather is cooling down, I am getting back into gear.

***Avery is getting so big! I'm going to try and upload a video for you!

***Ohh the triathlon and expo events I organized went very well, here are some pics...

***Avery had her first ear infection ;-(
***I'm still on antidepressants, feeling much better! ;-)
***I still dislike tomatoes. ;-)

What do you think about my stayfit4life logo?

2008-09-04T02:33:00.001-07:00

Stayfit4life is my personal training business name.

I PASSED!

2008-08-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

The American College of Sports Medicine!! It's a big deal with my degree...kind of like passing the boards for Physical Therapists...WHEW!!! ;-) ~K

How precious life is.

2008-08-19T18:25:00.001-07:00

Today was my big 3-0! Whooo hooo!!! Today's birthday opened my eyes to how precious this life really is. I am looking forward to my 30's. I'm not hung up on it in the least! I had a good start to my day, I woke up early and ran with the group. My friend Emily told me, during our run, of her friend that was in a serious car accident on Monday morning and died at the young age of 25. I felt terrible for her loss and listened intently as she told me how his death came about. I felt a real since of sadness for this guy, and my heart went out to his family and friends.

I came home feeling pretty good about my run, 6 miles, and I am really going to bump my training up from here so it was a good start! I began thinking of the guy Emily spoke of that passed on Monday, I started thinking of how much my life changed from the age of 25 until now. I got married, started and finished school, had a baby, and met lots of new people. I mean think if my life was over at 25, what I would have missed, what my parents would have missed out on, I mean, when you really think about it, everybody has an effect on the world in some way no matter how much or little you think you accomplish in your life, no matter how short or long it is!! Then, in mid ponder, I received a phone call from one of my friends and co-workers. She told me that our other trainer where I work died in a car accident on Monday morning. I remembered everything Emily told me of her friend, it all came rushing through my head, and realized it was the same person. My heart skipped a beat, Patrick Chester. I have only known him for 3 years or so, not very well, he was quiet, but a really fun person once you get him to open up. Patrick, Ray and I had clients at 5am and I get on there nerves so badly because I am sooo energetic in the morning and they are like..."Kara, what in the heck is wrong with you??? Its too early to have that much energy!!"

He was such a smart guy! He was supposed to graduate from APSU in December this year, I just graduated in August so we had that in common too. Here is the thing. I didn't know Patrick personally very well, he was a work acquaintance that I respected. He was young, had his whole life in front of him. Last time I saw him I had Avery with me, I brought her over to him while he was working out on the bench press and said, HEY! WHen you gonna have one of these" He smiled and said, one day, but not today!!! LOL! It's insane how quickly it happens, one minute your here on earth, talking and dreaming about your future plans, then with in a blink of an eye, your out. Its just that fast and that abrupt! You can go over and over what he could have done differently to not have wrecked, how if he was only a second earlier, or didn't decide to go back out after the concert, or if he just went a different route that he would still be here, he would be at Ray's gym in the morning with us to train our clients having to endure my perky morning attitude! But the truth of the matter is, there is absolutely nothing we can do now, Patrick is gone. We have to mourn, we have to feel that emptiness, we have to find it with in ourselves to pick ourselves up and move on with life even though it seems that maybe, just maybe, life should just stand still for a while. Patrick had so many close friends, he helped so many as well with there health. He was a very good person and this world will miss him. I hate to sound cliche' but ...Rest in Peace Patrick Chester, move on through the other side. We will see you again some day, I truly believe that.

To work or not to work...that is the question.

2008-08-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

So I was all about staying home with Avery as much as possible. I really have a whole new respect for stay at home mommas! I am eating my words, there was a time in my early 20's, when motherhood was totally foreign to me, when I worked for a medical office. One of my many jobs was to enter demographics into the computer system. You know when you go to the doctor and you have to fill out those annoying information sheets? Well, don't get too bent about it, just remember someone has to enter all of that information into the computer system and it is a mundane task to say the LEAST! Anyway, I would get so annoyed with women who put in the occupation section" mom" " home maker" "domestic engineer" so on and so forth! Now, I will be one of those people! I just thought they were sooo lucky! I thought they had it made. Well, in some ways, yes, being a stay at home momma is great! I don't know that its for me though. I love being around Avery so much, dont get me wrong, but I need an outlet! I need to put my knowledge to good use. Now, I do get to teach aerobics, and personal train but I need more. I just graduated from APSU with a BS in Health and Human Performance and I am really itching to put it to use. I have been teaching aerobics at the YMCA but the stagnation of our Y is not my cup of tea, I have to be in a place that nurtures growth, so last week, I put my resume at a facility that is run by a local hospital. It is a brand spankin' new facility that has a cardiac rehab section, a cardiologist on staff, Physical Therapists, Massage Therapists, Personal Trainers, and Group Fitness instructors. Everyone there has a BS degree in exercise science or better. I got a call yesterday and went in for an interview today. I hit it off with the director and was offered a position. Its part time and I am really considering it. That would mean I would need to find child care for Avery for a few hours a week. It's a lot to think about. Its something I really don't think I should or can pass up though! I will be making a decision in the next week, what do you think??? Any thoughts? ~K

First Battle Wound

2008-08-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

Well, Today..Avery has really started to pull herself up into the standing position. Now, she tries to pull herself up on ANYTHING. She is quickly learning what is sturdy enough to hold her and what is not! She lost her first standing battle with a chair today and busted the right side of her face pretty good! She cried and cried and I felt so badly that I couldn't get there quick enough to prevent this nasty fall. The chair fell over on top of her and I think it startled her more than anything... If you look at the pic closely you can see the battle wound. It didn't slow her down much though! She has been pulling herself up on everything! UG! Here we go! ~K

Sometimes, you just have to get away!

2008-08-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

We took a great trip to Gatlinburg,TN. We just wanted to unplug for a while and we did! It was welcomed. My mom and brother came for a couple of days and we had a blast! We saw a bear who wondered up by our chalet, then, Hillman and I were out on a trail run and we ran up on 2 cubs. We froze, admired, respected, and got the hell out of there!! It was amazing, being married to Hillman sometimes feels like being married to my very own nature guide! He is always pointing out animals that I wouldn't have noticed otherwise but running into the cubs even impressed him! We are home now and I am glad to get back to our routine but I was so glad t be able to get away! Sometimes...you just have to get away to realize how bogged down in life you are and get a fresh perspective!

Cheerio Monster!

2008-08-14T04:16:00.001-07:00

Avery is growing by leaps and bounds! She is crawling EVERYWHERE! Thats right! Say good by to the day where I could leave her in front of a baby Einstein dvd(aka baby crack) and go to the bathroom, or do anything out of her sight! Those days are done!!! She is even pulling herself up on furniture trying to stand. She so desperately wants to become part of the bipedal race! She is eating finger foods LOVES cheerios! She has...7 teeth now and is getting more in. She is truly amazing. She keeps me so busy. I fall in love with her more and more every day!! Her little personality is showing through more and more too! She is very independent. Doesn't want to be fussed over, HATES to have her diaper changed or clothes changed because she doesn't like to be lying down unless she is sleeping! As long as I have some Cheerios on hand, I can usually occupy here enough to get things done! Thank God for Cheerios! LOL!

Do you smell that??

2008-07-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Ugg! Sunday is when it all started. We were at the mall when all of the sudden my mom and I took a couple of whiffs , looked at each other and she said, "do you smell that"???? We got a little closer to Avery in her stroller and both turned green. I rushed her to the bathroom and was not prepared for what I found. She had pooped all over herself, it was no match for the diaper she had on. It had shot out of her legs, up her back, and was all over her stroller. I covered my nose and mouth and gasped as I tried to decide where to start. I stripped her down, threw away her clothes, and wiped her down from top to bottom with wipes. I replaced her diaper and carried her out of the mall, the stroller was wreaking with the smell of diarrhea, and people were still asking me where her clothes were as i hurried out. I thought it would be pretty obvious what had happened, I guess not, I just kept saying "BIG BLOWOUT" to them.

Since then, it progressed to puking and pooping. uhhh. I am so grossed out! Every time I turn around, there is poop or puke that needs to be cleaned up. I quit trying to clean myself up. No point! Wish us luck every one!! She is sleeping in my lap now, while I type. Bless her heart, she won't even let me put her to bed, sniff, sniff, uh oh, more pooh. Ewwww!! Gotta go! ~K

New Pictures of Avery by Angela Crutcher

2008-07-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Lets talk depression...

2008-07-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

If you have been keeping up with my blogs since Avery's arrival, then you may recall the blog I wrote after I brought her home called "the baby boo hoo's" Well, this is a continuation of that blog. Since I have had Avery, I have been SAD. No reason, just sad. I was getting so exhausted covering it up for family, friends, and work. I was trying so hard to get past it! Finally, I came to the realization that I was more than just a little weepy last week when a friend told me she thought I was suffering from post-partum depression. I really resisted the information at first, but she noticed the signs because she also went through it. I thought about it for a while and came to terms with it last week. I had a particularly rough weekend prior, and I was so tired of feeling worthless, empty, and sad. There is no reason for this feeling and I noticed that I wasn't enjoying the things I loved. I called my Dr. and spoked and cried to her nurse as I explained my feelings, she wanted to see me so I went in. I was very hesitant to go see her, I didn't want to feel even worse about myself... but now, I felt much better. I agreed to try to take a low dose of an SSRI (anti-depressant) for a short while. It has been a week now and I already feel so much better. I am not weeping every day, I feel a sense of self-worth again! I am able to enjoy my precious angle more. I felt before that if I went down this route of medication, that I would ultimately have given up and wimped out. I don't feel that way any more. I strongly feel that my decision is the best for not only me but my family as well. Thanks to my friends for encouraging me to get help. Sometimes it takes some one close to you to help you see what's going on right under your own nose! ~K

Injury free..for the most part~

2008-07-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

What a week! So I went to the worst podiatrist about my ankle! He was HORRIBLE. Told me I needed orthotics but"you couldn't afford them" is what he said! It was worse but ill spare you the details, bottom line, don't ever go to William Lambert! Ok?? OK!

Other than a run in with a horrible Dr. My week has been good! My ankle is getting better. I ran...Lets see, 7.5 Sunday, 3 monday, 3 tuesday, wednesday..just taught my aerobics classes, thursday Ugg, THURSDAY KICKED MY BUTT. I ran 3 with H and Avery ( H pushed !) THen taught an aerobics class for a friend who was out of town, then the aerobics instructor for the kickboxing class right after didn't show so guess who had to teach it..yep you guessed it. That wouldn't have been a big deal but I had a RACE the next day(3.1)! Needless to say, my race was terrible! I had severe hamstring pain since they were sore to begin with, and I just didn't have a full tank! No biggie, I was upset at the end of the race ( cried a little. Sorry Jami!) But ya win some ya loose some! ;-)

Having said that, I will not race again until October. I need a break to re evaluate my 5k goals, I used to love running 5k's. Now i feel tons of pressure to do a competitive time! I am not having fun with it like I used to. I am going to continue training and keep my head up! So to tally mileage this week.... 20.6 miles( including my warm up mile pre-5k race), not bad!

Happy 4th btw! I ate like 4 of those yummy cookies with icing! MMMM! ~K

Marathon Training Week 1

2008-06-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

Well... This week has been rough. I had a good training run on tuesday, 6 miles down. I ran alone, pepper spray in hand,reflective vest on, phone in my pouch, thats right, make fun of me if you want but I am safe!!! Especially when I am running alone. I ran a loop that proved to be long and boring but I made it. I watched the sun rise in awe and ran past a herd of deer, as the fog lifted, the sun broke through and I found myself producing more heat than I could get rid of, thank goodness I was almost done! I then hit the road on Thursday when disaster struck. I have been having a hard time with injury prevention these days. I am taking every percussion but I still find myself injured. First, it was a medial quad muscle that was very strained, that healed up in a week or so then, on thursday, i re-injured my ankle. I stepped on a stick, yes, a stick and rolled it. I went down in a heap and just cried there on the sidewalk , mostly because of the pain, but also in disappointment.I new this was a major set back! I sat there on the sidewalk and watched the cars drive by, waiting for my ankle to stop hurting so that I could stand on it, I had already swollen to a golf ball size. I knew I was a couple of miles away from my car, so i got up and hobbled back. I came home and iced it down, stayed off of it for two days. I ran this morning (Sunday) 7.5 miles with a brace on. Hopefully it will heal up and I wont have too many more set backs! Say a little prayer for my ankle! This morning was so nice because some friends met me for half of my run. I forgot how nice it is to have some folks to run with. Next time, I'm going to back off my pace a bit! I got a little caught up in it and ran a little fast for what I needed to do! Thanks girls! ~K

Hairston Family Reunion 2008

2008-06-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

This years family reunion was great! I think Avery was a hit! She really did well being away from home. It seemed that as long as Hillman or I was around she was a happy camper! She swam, she played, she met her very large and lively family, and she really liked it. It was great seeing everyone another 2 years older! ;-)

In Memory of Mammaw.

2008-06-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

This morning, I was running and I started thinking of my running goals. I haven't really had one up until now. I have just been running to build my own fitness, and increase my 5k time.I had been thinking of training to run another half marathon. When I was running this morning I remembered the reason I ever started training for a marathon in the first place. My Mammaw. She passed away last September but before I she left, I told her I would run a marathon for her. Why? You may be wondering, well let me explain.

My Mammaw is my dad's mom. She is probably the most interesting woman I had ever known. She was well educated, she continued her education well on into her old age. She was 94 when she went to the other side. She always encouraged me to be myself, be unique and to keep myself in a learning environment no matter what my age! She was my inspiration for a lot of things. My Dad is a lot like her in ways he probably doesn't know. They are both, determined, the most determined people I have ever known. My Mom and Dad always encouraged this way of thinking when I was growing up. I can do what ever I set my mind to! Depending on the nature of my mind set, sometimes "determined" turns into "stubborn" I think they are one in the same! Mom and Dad try to help my bro and I avoid disaster with some of our "hard headed-ness". Like, my first marriage, Oliver getting a dog...things like that, they are usually right on the money, go figure! ;-) One of Mom's famous quotes has always struck us after disaster strikes " I told you it was a bad idea but when you get your mind set on something..." Well, sometimes it works against us, I have made some mistakes but I learn from them.

The last years of Mammaws life was spent in an limited, frustrating fashion. The most active, out going person I know was limited in what she could do. She became ill, her body couldn't keep up with her mind. She still did all that she could until her last day. She never gave up, the way some have in my family. She hung in there and finished her life. Even when life got so difficult at the end, she hung in there. She left us with dignity and grace.

As I was running this morning, the conversation we had about running came into my head. I unplugged my Ipod and just listened to my thoughts. I remembered a conversation I had with Mammaw when she was in the nursing home, just a few months before she moved on, she was coughing and telling me that she couldn't get down to play the piano for all of the other patients during dinner because of "all this old yucky stuff". " You know what? I told her, I am going to train to run a marathon, and I am going to run it in your name" she laughed and said, well, I think you can do it, you can do any thing if you set your mind to it!" The next week I got a letter in the mail with a newspaper clipping in it about marathon training. She wanted me to run it!

Well, I ran a half marathon (as part of my training for the full) my plans for Mammaw's marathon was interrupted, I found that I was pregnant. All though, it was a very welcomed interruption, I never got to do it. So now, Avery is 6 months old, I am in good shape.. I am going to train to run it, for her, in Mammaw's name. It will not be easy and I realize I may fail, Mammaw got through some tough times, when her mind was still raring to go, her body could not, I can't imagine how frustrating that must have been. My body is going to go for her, I will train for the next 5 months, My base miles today are 7 miles, I will gradually increase my milage to 26.2. So, here's to determination and perseverance! Here's to you Mammaw, I am going to train for the Memphis St. Jude Marathon, December 2008. Wish me luck everyone! I am going to keep you updated in my training so keep checking in, any extra encouragement is welcomed!! ~K

Maybe a little alike??

2008-06-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

Here are two side by side...a and me in the middle, what do you think? Do you see a resemblance? I know she looks mostly like H. but I think I see a slight resemblance...

Fun in the sun!

2008-06-09T17:10:00.000-07:00

Avery got in the pool for the first time yesterday! She had a blast! She didn't really know what to do at first but she soon learned that splashing is fun!! Ethan pretty much slept the whole time but just wait! He will catch up with Avery soon and they will have so much fun together! Thanks for having us over Stafford Family! ;-)~K

Out and about!

2008-06-02T11:53:00.001-07:00

Avery had a big day on Saturday. First my Mom (her Kaki) came over and we went to Babies r us. Then after a looonnnggg nap, Avery, Hillman, and I went to hang out with my good friends Stacey and Mike who live a mile or so down the road. I didn't know how Avery would do since she is really unsocial at times, but she did great! We didn't leave until after 8pm! Thats late for her considering she is usually out for the night by 630Pm! Stacey and Mike have a big family, Lacey who is 12, Rebecca who is 4, and Ethan is almost 3 months. Avery was totally interested in Ethan and had a great time playing with Rebecca and Lacey! It was a really great time! Thanks guys, the next one is at our house! ;-) ~K

New Avery Pics

2008-05-30T12:47:00.001-07:00

Avery's first 5k race.

2008-05-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

This is Avery's first 5k race. Sure, she has been to the races before, but stayed on the sidelines. This time I pushed her and she did really good! Her momma suffered a little but Avery had fun!

Happy Mommy's Day!

2008-05-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

We went out to Kaki and Pop's. It was a big day for Avery. She made friends with Belle and Buzz.

I made a movie!

2008-05-10T16:26:00.000-07:00

So with my new computer, I can edit video clips! Cool huh?? Here is my first go at it. Its a race I ran in Greenbrier. ;-) Hillman didn't get the finish... but anyway, enjoy! ~K

New Computer

2008-05-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

H and I just got a new iMac computer. It has a built in camera. Here are some pics of us testing it out! LOL!! Ignore the boxes and mess in the back ground. We are hoping to finish unpacking by the end of this summer!! ;-)

Funny experiance.

2008-05-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had to got to the Dr, I had an ear infection, and I had a funny experience I wanted to share. Tell me what you think, I laughed about it all day.

So, I get to the Dr.'s office and sign in, grab a magazine, prepared to wait. I just got to the second page of a very old issue of Parenting magazine and I hear "Mary Mann?" I pick my stuff up and head to the nurses door. A young girl, blond hair, and cute scrubs on is standing there. " Wow, that was fast" I exclaimed. With out cracking a smile , or showing any emotion what so ever, she motions me in the right direction. " step on the scale" I watch the number pop up on the digital display, a number I am NEVER happy about, she writes the number down, disgusted, I look to her for further direction. She is smacking her gum in rhythm of the soft music playing over head. "smack, smack. "Have seat she says, she stuffs my arm into the automatic blood pressure cuff ( I feel a little jipped, can she not figure out how to take blood pressure?? I can even do that) as the machine squeezes my arm, until it turns purple, she stuffs a thermometer in my mouth and clipps a blood oxometer onto my finger. "Smack.. Smack, smacksmacksmack POP!! Yep, she did, she popped her gum! She whips the thermometer out of my mouth and ripps the bp cuff off my arm and still...she has not addressed me further than the initial "Mary Mann?"

"When was the first day of your last period"? she askes me " A year ago March, so March 2007" (I know , i still have not had a period) she glances at the chart and sees that I was recently in about 6 weeks ago for a sinus infection. "smack... smack, smacksmack, It says up here that you had a period in March 08, smack smack" "oh, well, it must be a miss print" I said. LONG PAUSE, smack smack, "are you sure you didn't have a period in March"? I looked at her and I couldn't help but to kind of laugh, uhh, really sure" I replied. " I had a baby so that's why I haven't had a period" thinking maybe this will help clear things up. She still looked doubtful of my recollection of my last menstrual period! WTF??? As if I was lieing to her about it, Ok, let me just make sure, did she ask me if I snort cocaine? Or had a menstrual period this year, should we get Springfield's finest in to do a lie detector test, and cross examine me?? LOL

"OHHH she exclaimed!" smack smack, motioning for me to follow her down the hall, what was it? she asked. It is a girl I replied "second door on the right she directed" I am putting my purse down and she asks me "did you name her?" OK, I'm sure she said "WHAT did you name her" but I only heard did you name her and I can hear fine, I only have a sore ear, its not all stuffy or anything... I was stumbling over by reply as my brain was trying to figure what she said. "um, what did I name her? Avery Kathryn. Pause PAUSE, smack smack, PAUSE.........

" I like Kathryn" she says. I wanted to bust out laughing! She said "the Dr will be in in a moment." I was just laying there on the exam table chuckling when I heard her make a phone call , her desk was right outside my exam room" hi, miss rich, I'm just callin' to tell you your blood pressure is under control" Smack smack.

It was just one of those time where I could just see this happening outside of my body. It really made me laugh! Some people should not be a nurse!! LOL! My ear is all better BTW, i had otitis externa (swimmers ear) Smooch Smooch, smack, smack! -K

The Averynator!

2008-04-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Poor Avery had to have more shots today.. she is almost 14 lbs, she is right on track with her developmental track. She cut two bottom teeth way early but that's because she's "certified advanced"..LOL!! She's great! Here are more pics. Enjoy! -K

Two new things...

2008-04-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

One, Avery is cutting her two bottom teeth!! OMG! Crazy huh?? I can't get a pic of them yet but as soon as I can you know Ill post them. She was a BEAR for a few days there but it seems to have passed, she's back to being a happy baby! YAY!Two.. I ran my first 5k race on saturday since I had Avery! YAY! My time was like..26 minutes and something but, thats ok. I felt strong and I know where I need to work to get my time back down!! I really feel confident that I can do it and get even faster than I was! Wish me luck, Ill keep you posted! Here is a pic of me comming in, the finish line is in sight. Can you see me? Im behind the dude , Im in the blue shirt. Love you all! MUUAHH! -K

OHHH me too!! Tagged!

2008-04-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

10 random things about muah...
mmmkkkkk....

1.)I love sweet things, I love salty things but not together! Seriously! I will GAG if someone gives me cottage cheese with fruit or a salad with fruit in it!! ( I can handle strawberries in a salad but i pick them out first)

2.)I am WORTHLESS after 8pm, and clear as day at 4am.

3.)I use to run around with my parents underware on my head...Yeah..I know.

4.) I get annoyed when it's a rainey day and the sun comes out at the end of the day. I am in a rainey day mood, I don't like to transition into a sunny day mood that late!!

5.) Use to have a big gap in my front two teeth.

6.) Loves the smell of carbon copy papers

7.) HATES to wear a bathing suit!

8.) I have this re-occuring nightmare that I have had since I was really young of a tornato that is after me, I see it comming, I can't get away, then it goes over and comes back, I can't get away from it until I wake up!! I only dream of this when something stressful is going on in my life.

9.) I am extreamy determined, my parents called me stubborn, I say determined!!

10.) I used to be a gymnist. I was OK, competed and stuff, when I was young.

I'm tagging Megan and Stacey Kizer!

What do we have here???

2008-04-08T13:49:00.000-07:00

TWO BOTTOM TEETH!! It's true! Avery has two bottom teeth, they popped out just yesterday! LOL! I think it's kinda early but we are excited about those two teeth! -K

My Little Suga Booga!

2008-04-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

Milestones in the Mann Home

2008-03-30T16:20:00.001-07:00

Back in pre-pregnancy jeans: Check

Avery rolled over: Check (4 times from belly to back)

Menstrual Cycle: No check( No, I'm not pregnant!)

Avery holding head up: Check

Avery sitting up with mild assistance: Check check

John's back playing soccer and doin' a damn good job at it: Check

Fletcher is a happy camper in Iowa: Check

Hillman back in pre-pregnancy jeans: Check

Avery is cooing sounds such as "ohh" "ahh" "agoo" and when she is upset "DE DE DE DE DE":CK

Avery cries and fusses when strangers hold her: CHECK

We are all sleeping through the night: half of a check

We are loving every minute of life and each other! DOUBLE CHECK!!!!

Love you all! Then Mann Fam!

5 miles down!

2008-03-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

Since I have had Avery, I have been slow to get back into running. I love to run and I have really missed it! Not only the way it makes me feel, free, strong, unified, but the camaraderie of it all and,my friends, my crazy friends that run for fun! We run together and talk incessantly about what ever is on our minds, or just laugh and carry on while we plod through a long endurance run for an hour or more. We show up at races bright and early on a Saturday morning just to get our asses kicked in a 5k race that we will hurt from for days. Sometimes will place in them, at least we usually get a t-shirt! We route each other on, we push each other to our limits, we laugh and goof off before and after the races, all business during the race though! Runners are so funny, they are generally pretty happy people, they are happy just to kick them selves in the butt on a perfectly good weekend. My husband and I run together and enjoy each other's company even though he is usually trying to straighten me up or help my form in some way. My best friend Stacey was my #1 running buddy before I got preggers and I was really quite grief stricken when I had to give it up for the baby( she was worth it though). Then, low and behold, she got pregnant! She just had her beautiful bouncing baby boy, Ethan Andrew a week ago. We are already planning our runs out! Now, I've been teaching aerobics for the last 2 months give or take a few days and I am so glad! I tried to run after a month of having Avery and I was HORRIBLE! My hips were not healed from the what ever happened when I was 7 months pregnant and I injured myself. Step aerobics, kick boxing, sculpt, spinn, doesn't bother it, running...OUCH!! I was so bummed after that first try I considered giving running up completely. And then, about 3 weeks ago, I was working out at home on our bike trainer(the thing where you put your bike on the trainer and ride) it's tuff, anyway, I was feeling so good I hopped of the bike an ran right out the front door. I ran a mile down the road and felt only moderate pain in my hip! Started seeing a Chiropractor and he is working on me twice a week and I am really getting better! H and I purchased a baby jogger and Avery loves it! I have been adding mileage now for 2 weeks and I completed 5 miles yesterday! AHHHH! I am so relieved! Now, having said that, I am slow as Christmas! I have to stretch my hip out after every 1.5-2 miles, but the point here folks is...I did it! I'm doing it! I have 6 miles planned for this week and a 5k race planned for the 12th of April. I have been running alone and it is very challenging for me, I mean it took me close to an hour to run 5! Those of you know me well know my love for chatter, I get really bored in my own head sometimes!! Oh! And I forgot to tell you about my minor set back that happened 2 weeks ago! I was at home, working on a step routine and fell, my ankle snapped and I heard a loud POP, after yelling a few expletives! I realized that my ankle was sprained in a bad way! Swelling started immediately, I teach 4 step classes a week! Plus other classes, I didn't know what I was going to do! I put a brace on it and went on about my week and miraculously, it is better, not 100% by any means but I was able to run on it so, as long as it is in a brace while I exercise its good! WHEW! Now if I can just get these last 5 lbs off, Ill be in good shape! Wish me luck! -K

The arm hold

2008-03-13T05:04:00.000-07:00

I still cannot master "the arm"hold. My aunt Kristie has it down pat so I tried to take notes, Avery loves that when she is upset. Still...I can't get it just right! Kristie..I think you need to move to Greenbrier!! ;-)

2008-02-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

I just got a video camera because still images of my little one..just isn't enough!!! LOL!! Here is the first video footage. It was the first time I used the camera so its a little shaky but she is mezmorized by her moble that has lady bugs on it. Now you can see her giggle even if you haven't gotten to see her in a while or have never met her.

Bless her little heart...

2008-02-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

Oh gosh! It was so sad. I had to take her for her 2 month checkup which included her first round of immunizations. 3 shots. She is doing well, she has gained 2 lbs from her birth weight. I thought I would be fine, I am so glad Hillman was able to come. When they gave her the shots and I heard her cry, then she looked at me like, "why are you letting them do this to me" the cry just shot right to my soul! I teared up. I had no control. I just held her little hand and then it was over. The nurse was fast. She gave Avery back to me and she started to calm. I just held her tight. Last night she was really fussy. At one point I handed her over to H because he is usually able to calm her better than me. She would not calm down. I took her back and H ran the shower. We sat in the bathroom and I sang her Christmas songs which calmed her right down. I sang her Christmas songs because I sang them to her when she was still in my belly. LOL! She would cry evey time I stopped humming the tune of "O Christmas Tree" She finally dosed off to sleep. What a day! -K

Deep thoughts

2008-02-01T07:43:00.000-08:00

I recently had a life awareness sort of epiphany I though I would share with you. It all started last Sunday. I was at my Mom and Dad's with Avery, and we took her to the mall which as you you can see by the picture below, it meant more to mom and I than Ave. When we got home, Mom and I were looking at her, talking about how much she looks like Hillman, when I asked her to dig out some baby pics of me, as you can also, see below. I haven't seen these pictures in many years. It was so fun to look at them and see Oliver and I as little babies. Oliver was sooo freaking cute! I was cute in that chunky baby,big ears, chubby cheek, cute kind of way. I cannot belive how pretty Avery is. I dont mean to sound braggy, I realize I have blinders on. I thought she would be the cute, fat, and you know...baby cute, like me. I didn't expect her to be so beautiful. I mean, compared to me, she is really a pretty baby!! Not that my mom and dad didn't produce a beautiful daughter...he he!!;-)

Anyways, that is not the point. It wasn't until I saw pictures of my parents that I started to feel...a new sense of awareness. I saw my parents with me as a baby and realized that they were my age and younger. Lets face it, Im kind of old for a first time mother. Mom was either 26 or 27 when I was born, I'm 29. I never saw mom as a younger person than myself. I mean, she had that look in her eye in the pictures that I now can relate to, that look, you know, of newness, uncertainty, and exhaustion. My dad, still silly as ever, but with a different stance, a different new, fresh energy, an energy that he still carries, it's just accompanied with a life's worth of wisdom that he passes along to me when ever he can, oh! And a few grey hairs that he blames on Oliver and I, oh... ok, A LOT of grey hairs that he blames on Oliver and I.;-0 I never noticed until last Sunday. It's like, oh wow! I am almost 30. I look at my hands and notice that they are different, older, not OLD, just older. I have little lines of my face ,around my eyes that shows my age, it is much harder to get weight off, although even though I am not as thin, I am in better shape now than I was in high school. ;=) I am not all weepy about it. I really am OK with my age, I just see it differently now. I am a mom. My mom and dad are grandparents and my grandmother is now a GREAT grandmother. WOW. Its like I woke up, and became aware of life's continuas push forward. There is no pausing, no going back. NO matter how how badly things are going, you know life will move on, and you will move through it, just as when precious things happen that you want to hold on to for ever, for instance the first time you hold your precious child in your arms, or when you marry the man of your dreams, you know you have to saver that moment and put it into memory, write it down, tell people about it, so you will have that moment saved in numerous places,so when you want or need to, you can recall them. That's why God gave us a memory huh. I don't know, it's just alot to take in sometimes. This is a life changing realization that I am sure everyone goes through. Right?? Thanks for reading and helping me save my precious moments. -K

Avery's first visit to the mall...

2008-01-28T10:13:00.001-08:00

And she sleeps through it, COMPLETELY. Mom and I had fun with it though! ;-)

Baby Kara

2008-01-28T04:57:00.001-08:00

I am so amazed at how much Avery looks like Hillman! Yesterday, mom and I got out some pics of me as a baby and thankfully, I can see some resemblance. Lucky for Avery, she isn't cursed with my big ears and major fat rolls, but, as you can see in the picture below, we do resemble one another as babies, slightly. (she still looks mostly like H.)

These are just hilarious! Avery isn't so blessed to have the original title "chunky monkey" Clearly, I didn't miss many meals as a un-welcomed woman accused Avery of in the shoe department at Dillard's yesterday, we won't be buying any shoes from her...

By the way, LOOK AT MY HOT MOMMA!!!! She's gorgeous! ;-)

Now the one below is just up for fun! LOOK AT THOSE ROLLS!!! And you all wonder why I am obsessed with exercise!!!! LOL!!

Cabbage leaves? Really?

2008-01-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Will someone please explain how cabbage leaves help relieve engorgement and help dry your milk up? I must admit..I was skeptical of this old home remedy. I am weaning Ms Avery and OMG, I thought I was doing it right. I started skipping pump sessions, one by one and then on Sunday I went down to one. I got so engorged that I could hardly bare the pain of pumping for relief, which made it even worse. OH WOW! That hurts! My boobs all of the sudden changed from huge and floppy and huge and ROCK HARD. Sorry, I know that is a lot of information about my boobs. When you have a baby all of the sudden you find your self sharing details about all sorts of your anatomy that you probably felt uncomfortable talking about before... I guess its all part of it. Modesty, to some extent, has certainly become less sensitive! Anyway, back to my rock hard boobs that are now a size DD...I do miss the pre-pregnancy boobs. I was as small as I had ever been, I could wear a size A cup, Im telling you, boobs are over-rated!! ;-) People keep telling me this old remedy for weaning that is over 100 years old, that is to buy green cabbage, crush up the leaves with a rolling pen an place them inside your bra. Well, I said I wasn't doing that, until Sunday evening, GET ME CABBAGE PLEASE!!!!! I'll try anything, what ever it is, no matter how silly it sounds, I am just that uncomfortable!!!!

Low and behold, it worked! I smelled of cole slaw, but i really couldn't have cared less, H and I got a huge kick out of me putting them in my bra, we use country slang here "Oh baby, Ill never be able to eat at a fish restaurant again with out thankin of you" LOL!! "Baby, you look good nough to eat" HHE HEH! We're really not right! We laughed till we cried, well, I really did because it hurt to laugh!! Now it may just be in my head, but it really did bring me tremendous relief, thank God! It has been 3 days now and although I am not ready to do jumping jacks with single support, I do feel much better. BTW, Nicole had us do a million jacks last night in her class, I think she wanted to cause me pain because I was showing out ,trying to one-up Brandon. Im truley sorry Nicole!! I get it, you're pissed!! You got me good, if the class wasn't full, I would have just put my hands over my boobs to hold em in place, the 3 sports bras were no competition to jacks and ski's!! LOL!

Scientifically? I cant find any conclusive studies except that women consistently show improvement when compared to placebo....we need some conclusive info here! Is it mind over matter? A certain nutrient that is released to resolve inflammation, in which case, does it work on a sprained ankle, pulled muscle, black eye? If so, what is the nutrient? Or does it specifically target the mammary glands, somehow helping your body to magically absorb the milk back into the body quicker? I think Im reading too much into this... I know my Mammaw could answer this question. If she was only here..:-( Does anyone out there have a clue?? Just wondering! I want to extract what ever it is that has this effect and make it a cream, that's right, Ill make my millions! Oh yeah. Love you all!-K

Im Going Crazy!

2008-01-16T05:49:00.001-08:00

That pretty much says it all. I am really loosing it. I really don't know how many more nights I can go with only 3-4 hours of sleep. I don't know why but she is now having a difficult time sleeping at night. Everyone keeps saying " sleep when the baby sleeps" I am sorry but that is freakin' impossible! During the times during the day when she sleeps I have to: pump milk, do laundry, wash bottles and clean the kitchen, EAT, shower, and some where in there, if i have a moment to lay down and sleep, as soon as i fall asleep, I am woken abruptly to WAH WAH WAH! It's time to feed her and do it all over again. I am more exhausted now that I have ever been in my entire life! She is asleep right now but I am wide awake...go figure.

Here is how a typical night goes. 730-8pm, I go to sleep, Hillman feeds her around 10pm and comes to bed. If Avery is still awake, I get up. Usually she is asleep and she wakes me up at 1130- 12 ish. I get up, feed her again, pump milk, go back to bed 1.5hrs later( anywhere between 130am and 230 am.) Then, around 330am "Wah Wah Wah" That's right, she's hungry again. I get up, feed her and she is usually very difficult to get back to sleep. This is the time of night where she has a dirty diaper, when I change her, she pees all over me and her self, I still can't figure out exactly how this happens. Keep in mind we have to change it around her harness which is very difficult in the wee hours of the morning, and I have to change her clothes too because somewhere between the time where I remove the dirty diaper and replace it quickly with the clean one, she pees puddles that soaks her clothes, harness, and diaper( last night it got in her HAIR), and as I mentioned earlier, me. I wipe her down, take the harness off to clean and dry, and replace her diaper, (we are on diaper #3 now) pick her up she's wide awake, note, I still have pee all over me that has dried enough for me to forget about it, offer her the more food(its been over an hour since she was initially fed) and she drops huge pooh bomb that shoots out of her diaper and on to me and what ever else is around. As I pick her up to change her and clean her up, she spits up all over me, usually somehow getting it inside my shirt, soaking me thoroughly. In case you have lost count: Diaper #4, onsie #3 and hours spent, #2.5-3. Cleaning myself up:#0. HELP!!! By the time she may get settled, It is time for me to work or workout...5am,a which is just fine because there is no hope of me falling back asleep now as I am a morning person and I am ready to go. At this time I realize that I have pee, pooh and spit up on me still...I change my clothes which takes care of most of it, except for the spit up part which I have forgotten about, and head out the door, after handing over the the shift duties to H. She sleeps until around 9am, then I am starting to get tired.. UGGGG!!! Oh the joys of motherhood, I have a whole new respect for my mom....I just hope she gets back to sleeping more through the night soon.

I had planned on a cardio workout this morning at 5 am as I am desperate to loose these 10 lbs, but H woke up at 430am and noticed me sitting on the couch, baby in baby bouncer, awake, and me sobbing. I didn't even hear him come down the stairs I just felt his hand on my head, "baby, your exhausted, you go to bed and Ill watch her for the next two hours,until I have to go to work"(630Am) I felt guilty because It is his birthday and he has to work ALL day but, I took him up on his offer. Last night I set a new record of only getting 2.5 hours. She was wide awake all night. Not fussy,I do realize, it could be worse, just awake and wanting to be held continuously. Pray for sleep, I am really going crazy! ;-0 -K

4 weeks, still in harness

2008-01-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

She is now 4 weeks! WOW! She went back to the Ortho. today. Good news! Her hip is better! Bad news, he wants her to continue to wear it for 3 more weeks to be sure it is stable while she grows...Oh well, whats another 3 weeks??? At least its better! YAY!! Here are the latest pics, she is bound to be a ham for sure!!

MY BABY WAS HUNGRY!!!

2008-01-10T05:19:00.000-08:00

OK, So Avery has been so fussy lately! I mean MAD fussy. She wants to nurse EVERY HOUR, ALL DAY, AND NIGHT!! Aside from being really sore, I am exhausted. Last night Hillman came home at 830 pm and I was spent! I was In tears, pumping my milk. "I've had it" I sobbed, I cannot continue to do this. Bring on the formula! H consoled me and encouraged me to continue pumping before we throw in the towel on breast feeding. I had already been pumping a little bit, H feeds her at night at around 10PM so I can get a head start on sleep and she usually sleeps for 3 hours before she wakes up and demands food NOW! Also I work out at 5am so H feeds her then too and when he does this, she sleeps longer. So the next logical thought...even in the midst of hormonal sobs and exhaustion, she must not be getting enough to eat. She is a lazy eater, I know that. She falls asleep at my breast after about five minutes and I usually have to get her up, change her diaper, and get her good and mad to continue nursing and some times that still doesn't work. So she wakes up 20 minutes later SCREAMING and the only thing I can do to console her is nurse her again! SO, I decided to pump, for her next hourly feeding. I had to work quick! So I pumped 4 oz before she started fussing!! I put it in a Dr Browns bottle that I got from a shower, and plugged her up! SHE ATE THE WHOLE THING!!! NO JOKE!!!! I was afraid I fed her too much but do you know...she slept for 5 straight hours!! She was exhausted and hungry. I was amazed so I pumped again, and had a bottle ready for when she woke up. I expected to be woken up in the usual 3 hours but she gave me 5 straight hours of sleep. I woke up at 430 am in a panic! I jumped up out of bed and ran to her crib thinking she was dead ( I know, a little dramatic huh) and she was waking up, not fussing, just cooing and doing cute things. I warmed the bottle and fed her 2.5 oz this time, she was so happy afterwards, she has been so fussy when she is awake I was beginning to take it personally!! I though she didn't like me and wanted a different mama!!! Bless her heart, she was hungry! Ill be pumping from here on out in case you were wondering!!! LOL! -K

We've Made it 3 Whole Weeks!

2008-01-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

That pretty much says it all!! 3 weeks have already passed. Wow how things have changed! We are now much more confident with each other (we meaning me and Avery) I think it is so amazing that even though she keeps me totally sleep deprived, I still love her so much. Those of you who know me know that I don't function well with no sleep, I pretty much turn in to devil woman!! LOL!! Im ok though. Its rough, but we're getting there. I have been nursing so I am the food, she wants to nurse every 2-3 hours consistently, day and night! I'm like the 24 hour buffet!! She's just like her momma too, she doesn't like being hungry in the least!!! She SCREAMS when we can't figure it out right away. I have been pretty lucky with the whole nursing thing. We have good days and bad days but the bad days are becoming less and less, thank God!! My saving grace?? THE NIPPLE SHIELD!!! Fellow nursers.... give it a try, its is one of the best inventions next to the breast pump! One last thing about nursing. I was a little apprehensive about it at first. I didn't really know how I would feel about it. Come to find out it is the most wonderful thing. It certainly has its ups and downs but its worth it, I never understood why women would try everything to make nursing work. Some say they would stay up crying, frustrated, trying to get their child to latch on, I thought, I am not doing that, If i can't do it, i can't do it, ill use formula. I get it now. Having said that, I know it is not as easy for some and there is nothing wrong with formula!!! It is wonderful though while nursing her, I love looking down at her, knowing that I am supplying her with everything she needs! Liquid Gold.

She went to the pediatrician yesterday and got a good report. The hardest thing so far is the trip to the Orthopedic Dr. When she was inside me, the last trimester she was really crowded, as most are, but her leg was placed in a very unnatural position that hindered her hip joint from tightening, causing her mild hip dysplasia. Its not that uncommon but basically her left hip will slip out of place if stress is put on it. It doesn't hurt her to do this, but if it is not dealt with now, she could have trouble keeping up with her mom and dad in 5k's and marathons!!! ;-) SO we are dealing with it. I thought they would put her in a brace that she would have to wear when she sleeps or like 3 hours a day but no....I wasn't prepared for what the Dr put her in. Its a full body brace! She has to wear it a week! If it isn't better in a week, she has to wear it up to 3 weeks, if its not better after 3 weeks she has to be put in a CAST ! Please, everyone say a little prayer for Avery! Don't freak out but here is a picture of it. You can see why I cried for hours. It is much more uncomfortable for me than her though! As you can see here, she is really quite comfy. I feel like it separates us a little. We took it off at the Pediatrician's yesterday and I just held her close for a while. It also makes it pretty difficult to change her diaper too!

Speaking of diaper changes... she is really getting a kick out of it! This morning for instance, around 245am, I changed her wet diaper, as soon as i got it all fastened, she POOED!! "Oh Avery", I said, so I put her in the crib for a few minutes to make sure she was finished, 4 min later, changed her again, only to get the new diaper fastened so she could pooh again!!! AHHH!!! She did this once more, I was SO "over pooed"!! She doesn't smile at me yet but the face she does is priceless. Ill have to take a pic! Thanks AVE!! LOL!! Your already giving me ammunition for the boyfriends!! HA!

And last but not least.. I worked out today for the first time! YAY! It felt so good to sweat! AHH! I have a lot of work to do on my body! I have about 10 lbs of fat to loose and a bunch of muscle to gain to get back to my pre-baby body. In time....In time!!!

Avery's first Christmas

2007-12-26T14:39:00.000-08:00

Baby Boo Hoo's

2007-12-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that a week has already passed since the birth of Ms. Avery. The first week has been full of unexpected emotions. I always thought bringing Avery home would be such a happy and exciting moment. H and I will whisk her in the front door, all happy and laughing, showing her around and setting everything up. Well, in reality, it was exciting, just not quite so.... perfect as I imagined. Even at the hospital, I was soooo ready to get her home. But as I was being wheeled out of the hospital room, the transportation attendent backed my wheelchair out and I got one last glimpse of the hospital room where I had stayed for the last few pivotal days. It started. This sad feeling swept over me. You know, you meet people in the hospital that you have just shared the most important days of your life with. The nurses and Dr's, Lactation consultants all helped me tremendously,and all shared this important time in Hillman and I's life, and I will never see them again. Its all over. The pregnancy, the long awaited delivery. The feeling reminded me of how I feel sometimes after Christmas, or some other big event that had taken so much planning, but much more intense. After so much planning... in a short time, Its all over. I mean.. I am so excited that Avery is here, I couldn't bare being pregnant one more day but its still sad. I brushed off the tears and we headed down to the car. Some where between Nashville and Ridgetop, Hillman was talking about something that I can't recall, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I began to sob. I mean sob like, I haven't sobbed like this since I was young. Huge tears fell from my eyes and I just couldn't stop. I sobbed for the rest of the day like this on and off. The best way for me to describe how i feel is totally and completely overwhelmed. Anxiety, sadness, overwhelmed, and tired. All week this has happened. It comes over me in waves. H just encourages me to talk to him about it, and I do. My mom came to stay with me and witnessed this first hand. She and I are a lot alike in the emotional aspect, she totally understood and made me feel so much better that she had experienced the same thing when she had me and my bro. The time came a few days later that she had to leave. I was so upset, she only lives an hour away but I was so sad. I wanted her to just stay forever!! My mom and I are really close. I could only hope Avery and I will have such a great mother/daughter relationship...I felt so alone. Hillman had to teach a class the night mom left and I was left here alone with Avery for the first time. It was almost unbearable for me emotionally. I remember just praying God would help me get through the next 3 hours or so. He understood me and sent my good friend Stacey over. She sat with me and kept my mind off of things. She has no idea how much that helped me, unless she reads this blog! ;-) I am feeling much better now. I am not as emotional now. I am feeling much more confident as a mother, many things are going well. I think it will also help when I can move around and tend to the house better. I am still experiencing quite a bit of pain from the C-sec incision, so i am pretty limited in the things I can do. Say a little prayer for us. We are getting there!!

Avery Kathryn Is Here

2007-12-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

How is it that I could love someone so much that I just met? I mean...Ok, I didn't JUST meet her but, woah... I have never felt this much love for someone. Avery is here! She the most precious thing that has ever drawn a breath... maybe Im a little bias...

Thursday evening, around 9pm on the 13th of December I started having contractions. Hillman and I went to the hospital per Dr.'s advice at around 2am December 14th. We were admitted to Labor and Delivery at 3am...What happened next was a whirl wind beyond belief! I am going to tell you how my precious daughter came into this world, let me warn you.. Its not pretty as you can see in the picture above!

Everything went so smoothly until I started to push. I was admitted to L&D, experiencing very uncomfortable contractions happening every 2 min or so...Woah! Menstrual cramps on crack is what I told Hillman at one point in the middle of breathing, grasping onto the bed rails, and curling my toes to the point of foot cramps. H and the nurses found much humor in this statement but its true!!!! I chose to go the pain free route. The epidural was a breeze!!! Its not something I want to do every day but... wow, things were much more tolerable now. I felt a wonderful warm sensationcome over my legs, HEAVEN!!! Then I realized how many bags of that fluid had come through my IV, I had no control over my bladder and was terrified I would pee on the bed!! The nurse put a cath in thank goodness!!! WHEW! One embarrassing moment avoided!!! Many more to come that were unavoidable... We won't go into that much detail though, some things are just better kept to ourselves!!

Its time push. 1130 am. Friday December 14th. She is almost here! So I thought. I pushed, and pushed, and pushed.........2 hours later. I had NO more pushes left. The Doc came in through out the two grueling hours of pushing and found that Avery's head was turned the wrong way. "sunny side up" is what she called it. Ave was stuck, my hips would not allow her to come through. Utterly exhausted, I was sobbing. Feeling a lot of pain, despite the epidural, in my lower back ,I was totally and completely spent. The Dr realized this and told me no more pushing. I had one more push and she wanted to use a vacuum to turn her, not pull her out, but she though that if she could just turn her maybe I could push her out. A team came in, started prepping me for the vacuum and Hillman was sort of pushed back. All of these people were swarming around me, "sign here, what is your pain scale right now, can you feel this?" all of the sudden PUSH PUSH PUSH KARA PUSH! Nothing. The Doc, says the magic words, "Kara, lets get Ms. Avery out, I want to do a C-Sec. She'll be her in 30 min, lets go" BOOM! H was pushed even further away, more people swarmed me, ripping my gown off to expose ALL!! That's right, nothing left to the imagination at all, a nurse started frantically shaving my private area..i meant to ask for a Brazilian wax but I just couldn't get it out between my sobs. " lets hook her up to the real stuff" the CRNA said, they were stitching me, tugging on me, pushing me in places that I didn't know others could reach, and we're off!!

The O.R. Was bright, decorated in Christmas decor. By this time I was in and out of sleep, I was trying so hard to stay awake! The Dr asked me questions about my life that should have been easy for me to answer however.. I struggled to put sentences together. Before I knew it Hillman was holding my hand, he squeezed twice and said Kara! THis is it!!! Tugg, Tugg, Pressure PRESSURE! And HERE SHE IS!!! SLAP and WAHHHH WAHHHHH WAHHHHHH!!!! Oh my GOD, I remember saying, they let her peep over the giant blue curtain and she matched it! I gave birth to a beautiful smurf!!!! ;-) They put her on the exam table where i could barely see her out of the corner of my eye. I told H to go see her, I was fine. 8 lbs 6oz!!! 19&3/4 inches! WOW!! No wonder you couldnt push her out!!! My mouth felt like the driest desert and the CRNA gave me a damp rag to suck on..how nice!! It really helped!!They placed her on my shoulder, I could barely see her between my glasses the space of blur where my glasses couldn't cover, she was red now and the most amazing thing I have ever seen! Even if the Sahara Desert wasn't in my mouth, I actually had NO words. I just stared until someone whisked her away. "another tattoo saved" The Dr exclaimed! YAY! The crowd replied! Before I knew it, They were wheeling me out! I wanted to hug them all, tell them how much I appreciated them, express all of my gratitude but I couldn't say a word! My mouth was too dry and I was FIGHTING to stay awake!!

Back in recovery, My body was shaking uncontrollably! I felt as though I was in shock. My mom,dad, and brother were all in there. Hillman also by my side, trying to calm my nerves. CC the nurse tells me not to sit up too fast, I began to put my bed in the upright position. I really tried to slowly do that but apparently it wasn't slow enough! I had a rush of energy and a nurse stepped in and asked me if i wanted to see my baby! YES! I managed to say. Please! They brought her in to me. I held her and then the words left my mouth that I will never live down in my entire life...Sobbing I said " O my god, she's beautiful, somebody, take her, I'm going to throw up" My Mom gathered her up, Hillman grabbed a container and I lost it. I puked for the next hour! "Now its time to try to breast feed" I thought, everybody apparently looked at each other like"no way"... I was actually thinking, I cannot possibly give anything else from my body right now, but some how, with the help of my family and nurses, I managed to latch her on for a few precious moments in between hurl sessions.... Lovely huh!

Its over, what an event! I am not complaining in the least though. I am just simply sharing Avery's story of her blessed arrival. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It makes last years half marathon look like cake! She is here and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! It is truly amazing how wonderfully life is. I brought her into this world, there is nothing more satisfying that that. Get ready for a fun ride Avery! We will have our ups and downs but we have passed our first test in life together! Your birth.

Feelin' good...

2007-12-03T18:13:00.000-08:00

Today's Dr appt. went much better than last Monday's. I feel really good today! With the exception of my on going hip pain that makes it very painful to WALK or do anything else...not that im complaining!! ;-) Dr Blake just looked at me and said..." you feel much better today huh??" Yeah, I'm not a sobbing mess like i was last week!!!

BP still read high until I laid on my left side. The baby's sitting on illiac arteries...stopping up the blood flow! I am now dilated to 3 cm. At least my body is doing SOMETHING!! If I do not go into labor on my own... I am going to try and wait until the 17th to be induced. Yes..that's 41 weeks. I am going to try to go into labor on my own, also, I have exams next week... Hopefully I'll go into labor earlier.. the sooner the better!!!!! H and I went to Las Palmas to get some spicy food, I heard that could speed up labor, nothing yet though!! Ill be sure to keep you posted as best as I can! Smooches! ~K

We've Gone "Green"

2007-12-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

Check out our new car! Its a 2008 Toyota Prius (Hybrid) We had to order it, It will be here around the 11th, hopefully Avery will be here too!! Love you all!! ~K

Third trimester kicks first trimester's BUTT!!!

2007-11-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

I am not one to complain, but DANG!! I am SOOO uncomfortable. Those of you who have been preggers before, this is old news, but oh my gosh!! I have never been so uncomfortable in all of my life! The third trimester kicks the first trimester's butt!!!

I haven't been feeling well the past few days, just out of energy, and so uncomfortable, The only way i can get any relief from my excruciating hip pain is if i sit in the hot bath, or if i sit straight up, legs out in front of me. But then the rest of me is uncomfortable!

I went to the Dr today for my weekly checkup and as i was sitting in the waiting room I just knew something was off. I was nauseous and I just felt so badly!! When nurse Judy came to get me she did the usual, weighed me (I actually didn't gain any this week!!) took a urine sample and my blood pressure. Low and behold, my blood pressure was really high! I didn't ask what it was... I wish I did, but it was high enough for them to make me stay there until it went down. When Dr Blake came in the room she waisted NO time asking me how I felt, I just busted out sobbing. "I just don't know how much more I can take of this!!" She looked at me with a very concerned and compassionate look, handed me some tissue, and continued to ask me questions specific to my high BP, She let me hear the Avery's heart beat and the tears started to dry up. She checked to see if I had dilated or effaced for the first time and she was surprised to find that I had dilated 2 cm and effaced 80%. THat made me feel much better!!!! At least I am going some where!! Who knows though, I may have been like this for the last month... She had me lay on my left side for 10 min or so and rechecked my BP. My bottom number was still 95 BUT she felt fine about that... Now I have cramps!! OUCH. Lets hope I go into labor, If she has to induce me, Ill still have three weeks to go. At least I know that she will be here in less than a month!!! Sorry to complain! I just wanted to share the latest with you all. I'll be sure to keep you updated! ~K

We've Moved! Im exhausted!

2007-11-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

Check out what a difference new floors make!!! Love you all! ~K

We Made Strides Against Breast Cancer

2007-10-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for the support you gave to this cause. I have walked this walk for the last 3 years. It is one of my favorite events because I am really passionate about finding a cure for breast cancer. I am also passionate about exercise and getting out in your community to show support. This year, at the very last minute I decided to get our YMCA in Robertson County involved. I didn't really have any expectations as to how many people would be able to participate due to the last minute request. I made a modest goal for our Y to raise $500. We exceeded this amount!! We raised over $1200!! That is so amazing. Imagine what we could do next year when we are able to spend more time organizing this event!! If this was your first event of this sort, I sincerely hope it is not your last. Much love! -Kara

More Belly Than I Bargained For!

2007-10-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

33 weeks and still growing!

Belly Button: Still intact!

Rib Soreness: High

Heartburn: Occasional

Comfort Level: LOW

Sleep Level: Surprisingly high.

Number of times I have to pee: TOO MANY!!

Our House!

2007-10-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

Hillman and I just bought a house!! Here are some pics. We are replacing the carpet...

A modern day hero indeed

2007-09-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

One of my very own personal hero's is my Mammaw. She was whisked away to the other side on Monday, September the 17th. If you knew her you may have known her as "Mary Alice Gibson",one of the most interesting women of this world. She was 94 years old. It is always hard to lose someone dear to you no matter how well prepared you are. Mammaw has been preparing us for her death for as long as I can remember! I remember when I was young going to her house and her scurrying me off to the guest bedroom and clearing off this beautiful bed covered in yards and yards of any color, type, or size of yarn and saying "now Kara, when I die you will have this beautiful bed...your grandfather was born on this bed" EWWWW!! I thought, first , Ewww at the thought of someone being born in the bed, the second ewww of the thought that she was already planning her death!!! How strange!!! How morbid I thought, so out of character coming from a woman who is not at all negative .. Well, as I got older and she kept showing me all the the furniture I would receive when her day came, it was more clear to me that she was indeed going to die one day and that I will too. "Its the circle of life" she'd say. " Everyone dies, there is no need to waste your life away worrying about it. One day Kara, you'll accept it." Well, It is true,I have accepted it. That doesn't make it any easier though!!

Mom and Dad told me the news of her passing as soon as they heard. She had been in a nursing home for a few years but ....she would never be in a nursing home..she was a part of the nursing home! BIG DIFFERENCE!! Everyone knew who Mary Alice was! Her room was always full of people and when she felt good, she'd go down and play piano for everyone to enjoy...I always wished I had learned to play the piano! What a great gift to give people...music! Anyways, she was still as sharp as a blade! I mean she would tell me things about my dad when he was child up until the last time I spoke to her, which was a couple of weeks before now. She adored my dad, she really wanted me to know that! I can understand why..I adore him too!! All of the memories, all of the smells, smiles, her hands, her grey hair, her painted face..It all comes around. Avery Kathryn would have been her 13th great- grandchild. I know she wanted to stick around to see her. Avery will know about her though...She made her a blanket that I will wrap her up in as soon as I can. She she will be wrapped in her love, just as Mammaw would wrap me up in her arms when I was young. The circle of life is so interesting. We are born, we have one chance to live our lives to the fullest. That's what Mammaw did. She absolutely lived her life to the very fullest. In a conversation we had the last time we spoke, I vowed to her that I will not waste one day of my life...and I won't! I won't waste one hug, one smile,one kiss,or one person in my life! I love you Mammaw and I will miss you, but I will remember you and your spunk for life. And even more, I will pass it on to every one I can. -K

Hold the Mayo!!!

2007-09-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

That's right! I think I am the only pregnant person who has to continue to diet while preggers! Its not like I've been indulging in fast food or fried chicken, but I haven't been as careful as I usually am with my diet. I went to the Dr.'s yesterday and found that I gained another 4 lbs!! Whoa!!! I am now up to 18 lbs. I'm due in December so.... I still have a while to go! My Dr. says my baby is BIG told me to keep in mind that I have to deliver her!!! She is concerned that I may have gestational diabetes but I don't think so. I think I've just been laying on the sauce lately so... time to cut back!!!! BOO. No more low fat mayo,a habit i have picked up during pregnancy, frozen yogurt for dessert, bagels etc.... I am scheduled for the usual 28 week glucose testing on Monday so keep your fingers crossed. Only 8 out of 100 women get it so I'm pretty sure I'm in the clear!!

Only Happy Thoughts Please!

2007-08-23T18:21:00.000-07:00

Whats with women over the age of 50 feeling like they have to tell you the worst pregnancy stories when a person is pregnant?? At first I just let it slide. The number 1 thing I was bombarded with was " I only gained 9 lbs when I was pregnant" Or " don't forget, you don't want to gain too much weight, when I was pregnant I only gained....." UGGG!! Alright already! I realize I am laying on the lbs! Ive gained 14 lbs, I'm 6 months preggers, my Dr is cool with it OK??? Trust me, I know how much I've gained in more detail than you do... I see myself naked!!!! LOL!

That died off after around 18 weeks and the horror delivery stories began. "I was in labor for 25 hours and no epidural or any pain medication" " I pushed for a straight 10 hours until i passed out" I have heard every terrible scenario you could possibly imagine!!!! Oh this is my favorite " I had a C-Section and the epidural didn't work so I had to endure ALL of the pain!!!" THEN Its "you should have your baby natural, epidurals are selfish" WHAT?? Just today a person who shall remain nameless told me (age 62, I might note) ," you make sure you feel that baby move every hour, my friend gave birth to a still born just 3 years ago and there was no apparent reason" WHY WOULD YOU TELL A PREGNANT PERSON THAT???? I came home and whipped out my fetal monitor ( i got from babybeats.com) and feverishly searched for her heart beat then I counted to make sure it was fast enough, adn then I checked again! 140 BPM WHEW!!! Then I cried my eyes out! As if pregnancy isn't worrisome enough! PLEASE!! Stop with the stories people! I have made the conscious decision today that I will not listen to anymore of it! Only happy thoughts please!!!

OK! Sorry.... I really got a lot out there!! Anybody else experience this or am I the only lucky one??? ~K

Belly Update

2007-08-21T14:25:00.001-07:00

Wow what a difference 4 weeks can make! Let me refresh your memory:

20 weeks

24 weeks

I just happened to have the same pants on here! ;-)

Pics from Chattanooga

2007-08-13T16:18:00.000-07:00

Hillman and I hiking on lookout mountain.

YUMMMMM! One of our many desserts! Time to hit the trails again!!

Sittin' on the top of a mountain..WEEE!! OK, I'm getting down now!!!

The Aquarium

Just us!

Maternity Clothes in Action

2007-08-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

The Glam Fam!

My belly is still growing (23weeks)

Ok, Well this one is just for fun! Wasn't I a chunky monkey!!!

Maternaty Clothes Shopping

2007-08-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

So... I cannot fit into any of my regular clothes anymore, no matter how hard i squeeze into them, they just wont fit! NOT only in my belly...no, you know I cant just be one of those cute mommas who only gain weight through their midsection! Yeah right! I have gained it EVERYWHERE!!! First, it started with my butt expanding, no biggy, I'll just where my fat jeans, then my arms, oohhh.. that's a tough one to hide! Then my thighs (inner and outer) Fat jeans are getting snug, THEN my belly, I got away with wearing this little belly band, it acts like a rubber band around your waist so you can wear your breeches with out buttoning them. Question, why did I have to wait until pregnancy to find these little miracles??? I could have been using these A LONG time ago, you know when you over eat,your so stuffed you have no room in your pants for another bite??? Just slip on of these suckers on, your good for dessert!! LOL!!!ANYWAY. I have a wedding to go to this weekend so it was time to do the maternity clothes shopping, I couldn't very well go in gym shorts and my husbands over- sized T, which has been the basis of my wardrobe for the last 3 weeks or so... So we did it, I knew I could count on my Mom to help me through this! We hit the maternity store. I tried on dresses that made a fat cow look skinny standing next to me! I thought i was going to CRY! "do you mean I have to look like Maggie MOO for the next 3 months?? CRAP!!!" Finally, with the help of my patient and logical (compared to me) Mom, we got a few pieces of clothing that doesn't make me want to start grazing in the grass and mooing!!! Thanks Mom! I can always count on you tho help me shop!

PS- My family is calling my baby bump the "baby GUT" Geezzee thanks alot... MOOO" LOL Smootches! ~K

Here comes the BELLY!!!

2007-07-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, So i though it would be fun to post the changes to my body. Now, you can see by belly expand. Here we go! Its starting to pop out now. I have to wear clothes that fit loose around the midsection, I have had to remove all drawstrings from my workout shorts! I am almost 20 weeks here...

Meet Avery Kathryn...

2007-07-12T11:49:00.001-07:00